Tossing Salt Presents:
The Ultimate X Q&A #11
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s do this.

If Joe Biden called and offered you an ambassadorship to any country in the world… where would you pick?

I don’t think that Joe Biden would offer me anything except for maybe some trumped-up criminal charges or frequent visits by Secret Service officials because of my repeated insults about his criminal behavior, pedophilic behavior, lies, and blatant undesirable qualities. But I’ll play along and assume that Biden wants to extend an olive branch to make me go away with an Ambassadorship. What country? I am a big fan of mythology so let’s say Greece.

How do you find peace and relieve your stress?

I write I sleep, I drive, I read, or I hold my cat in my arms and listen to him purr in contentment.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the United States?

The greatest country on Earth, bar none, period.

Who is your favorite comedian of all time?

It’s a tough call because I enjoy so many great ones, such as Joan Rivers, Don Rickles, George Carlin, Redd Foxx, Brad Williams, Paul Lynde, etc. How can you choose just one person? Let’s go with the King of Late Night, the host of the Tonight Show for over thirty years, Johnny Carson.

Which one event has been the biggest in your life so far?

Maybe it was when my Dad passed away. Maybe the death of my step-dad, or my brother’s suicide. Maybe it was the recent deaths of my oldest brother and my oldest sister? Maybe it was moving to Wilmington, NC for the best two years of my life. Maybe it was having my leg amputated two years ago. I don’t know what event would be the biggest. I know. It will be my wedding day. Oh wait, I’ve never been married so the best and biggest is yet to come. And there you go.

Who is the greatest Rapper of all time?

It’s an easy one for me. My namesake and this is called The Show. Doug E. Fresh. ‘Nuff said!

Is the term “Cis” a slur against straight people?

I would say so. Yes.

At what age is it okay to leave your kid home alone?

It depends on the kid, but I would say generally around 10-11 years old. Some kids are not mature enough or responsible enough, but again, it depends on the kid. I was staying alone when I was 7-8 years old and never had any problems. True, it was a different era and time, but if the kid has been raised correctly and has common sense, they should be okay by age 10.

If someone hit you with a flirty pickup line, how would you answer?

With an awkward answer that doesn’t fit the situation or comment. Small talk and flirting are not my strong points. Being obnoxious or perverted, I have that covered. Responding to a compliment or flirting, not so much.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s wrap things up. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the Bojangles Drive-Thru.

Ubuntu!