Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie
Land of the Losty, 1814 & The Jonestown Massacre
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Good morning and welcome to a Day of Dougie. Yes, it has been a while since I’ve done one of these, but what the hell? I only have one Ultimate Wrestling Q&A currently outlined, so I’m caught up with those, for a change. By the way, send me some wrestling questions. Thank you!

I’m also caught up on posting the episodes of No Chaser w/ JHoody & Drunk Dane, so until they make another one, that’s up to date as well. So what’s left? A Day of Dougie it is. I’ve got roughly an hour to kill before I have to go to a doctor’s appointment to get yelled out. Things haven’t been going well lately and my foot, the only one I have left, is getting worse. If things don’t improve soon, I’m looking at either a possible Charcot Foot Reconstruction or possible amputation. Yeah, I’m stressing a lot as you might guess. But I’m doing what I’ve been told and I’m going to either beat this crap or go down fighting. I will not end up a footless Weeble. And that’s the bottom line because I just said so. Yeah, that’s my obligatory wrestling reference for the day. You’re welcome.

But let’s forget about that for a few days and proceed with a Day of Dougie. For this, I take the infamous Magic Bag, aka an old Crown Royal Bag filled with literally thousands of slips of paper that each contain a word, phrase, or letter. I draw three slips of paper from the bag and that’s what I write about. Three random topics with no pre-warning, preparation, or advance notice. Sometimes, it turns out well and interesting. Sometimes, it’s like, WTF? And most of the time, it’s somewhere in between. But it’s never boring.

Time is wasting so let’s just get right to it, shall we? I’m reaching into the bag and the Topics of Discussion for today are Land of the Lost, 1814, and the Jonestown Massacre. Wow! What cheerful and enlightening topics to speak about at 7:00 in the morning? What fun! But it works that way sometimes. Let’s do this.

Land of the Lost

We all remember the television show with Marshall, Will, and Holly as they fell through a waterfall and ended up in a land of dinosaurs and Sleestaks, right? It was also a bad movie a few decades later. I liked the TV show in the mid-70s. Sid & Marty Kroft produced and created it and it was good stuff. The movie? It was there. ‘Nuff said!

But just imagine it. Taking a family trip and heading out on the river only to end up in a land full of strange creatures, with no signs of civilization or other people anywhere. It’s worse than Detroit. And remember Chaka? That kid needed a good orthodontist and a haircut. It was a cool show from a better time. Sometimes, I still watch episodes on YouTube. They don’t make TV like that anymore. Sad!

1814

When I think of 1814, I think of two things. One is being at work where items priced at $17.95 come up to $18.14 when the tax is added. There are probably 9 or 10 things that we sell that have that price so I see it pop up quite often. And the other thing? A song from the late 50s, I think, by a singer named Johnny Horton. He was married to Hank Williams’s wife before Hank married her. She killed him too. Okay, she didn’t kill him. It’s just that every man that Miss Audrey married, ended up dead. Strictly coincidence of course, but still. Now what was I saying?

Oh yeah, Johnny Horton and his song. It’s a very catchy song and full of lots of accurate, historical facts. Forget about history class and school. I learned about the Battle of New Orleans, as well as the WWII Battleship, the Bismark, from listening to a Johnny Horton 8-track tape. Yes, I am that old. I’ll post the YouTube video of the song here for your enjoyment. It’s not only educational, but you’ll enjoy the song as well. I promise you that. And here we go.

Jonestown Massacre

Unfortunately, I can’t find a song or a YouTube video about the Jonestown Massacre. This was a thing that happened in the late 70s, when a cult, called The People’s Temple, led by a fanatic named Jim Jones, in a place called Jonestown, Guyana, had a mass suicide that killed over 900 people. Jones established a cult in California and then with nearly a thousand of his followers, moved and established a town in Guyana. When the U.S. Government and a Congressman came to investigate, the Congressman was shot and murdered. And then everyone in the town listened to Jones and literally drank the Kool-Aid. That’s where that expression comes from. People were ordered to drink poison-laced Kool-Aid and if they balked or refused, guards armed with rifles and crossbows stood nearby to ensure that they cooperated. Yeah, it was a messed-up situation. I think I was maybe 11 when that happened and I can remember the TV news report vividly. That’s why you say no to Cults Cults are bad! ‘Nuff said!

And there you go. Time to wrap things up so I can take out the trash, turn on the coffee pot for my Mom, and head out to the Doctor’s office. Thank you for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. If I get a lot of feedback and response, I’ll start doing these Days of Dougie pieces far more often. Or if I get bored. Whatever works, right? Stay well, my friend. Be good and keep on keeping on. That’s all we can do, right? And to my bro-son and the family, I love y’all way very much. Never forget! I’ll see you at the liquor store.

Ubuntu!