Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie
Nosey Bittys, Physical & Bourbon Hunters
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Good morning. I’m Doug, your Guiding Light and Party Host and welcome to the Ulti… Oops! My bad! While it’s true that I do have four editions of the Ultimate Wrestling Q&A outlined and waiting to be completed, this is not that. This is a Day of Dougie. Technically, it’s 4:10 am so should it be Late Night With Dougie instead? Maybe Early Morning with Dougie? Nah, let’s stick with a Day of Dougie. It rolls off the tongue better. And so does your boyfriend. Oops! I shouldn’t have said that. It may be true, but still. My bad, again.

So I can’t sleep, as usual, and I’m way beyond stressed, also as usual, so I’m sitting here at my computer, frustrated and trying to find a way to pass the time. I did finally watch the new Aquaman movie last night. It was okay. I enjoyed it, but the plot holes, the cheezy moments, etc. I wasn’t impressed all that much. But to be honest, that’s my opinion on 98% of the DC stuff from Hollyweird. They do excellent TV, such as the Arrowverse stuff from the CW and The Titans, but the movies tend to be “Eh!” at best.

Marvel and the MCU worked in the other direction with the movies, at least at first, being excellent, while the TV wasn’t all that. The Netflix series was excellent, but under the watchful eyes of The Mouse, they’re on a steady decline as well. Maybe I’m just superhero fatigued. Maybe I should just go back to comics and fan fiction. Maybe I should change the topic and just get on with it for this column. Yeah, it’s a Day of Dougie. Now, let’s get the Magic Bag and find some topics of discussion.

I have the infamous bag in my hands and my three random topics will be: Nosey Bittys, Physical, and Bourbon Hunters. Well, this should be interesting. I’ll try and be as nice and polite as I can. Let’s do this.

Nosey Bittys…

I think this one tends to be self-explanatory. A nosey bitty is someone who can’t mind their own business and has be be involved in every matter whether it’s of their concern or not. We all know one or two, right? They’re also referred to as ‘Karen’ or ‘Chad’. I tend to refer to them as ‘Dumbass’, but that’s just me. And all I can say about these annoying creatures is, ‘Don’t Do Dat!’. If I want advice, I’ll ask for it, and if a person tries to interject their opinion without being asked first, well… It depends on the person. There are a few who I don’t mind getting involved and becoming part of a situation because I do respect their opinion and I know they have the best of intentions and interests at heart. But those that just want the scoop, want the gossip, and are there to sip the tea and create drama? Those are the ones I don’t have much use for. Those are the Nosey Bittys. And that’s the bottom line because I just said so.

Physical…

This is when there is skin-to-skin contact and it gets real. Comments, sarcasm, an exchange of ideas, etc., are all well and good, but things evolve and we get physical. I could use some good physical activity right now. Any volunteers? And I don’t know where I’m going with this so let’s talk about the other ‘Physical’. It’s a song by Olivia Newton-John from 1981. Here’s the video so we can move on.

Bourbon Hunters…

These are those people who come around, from ABC store to ABC store, looking for the allocated, top-shelf brands of bourbon and whiskey. They have that look and aura about them and they want the best of the best so they can brag to their friends, act smugly, and resell the bottles of booze online. And yes, these people do exist.

They walk into the store and immediately go to the bourbon section to scan what’s on the shelf. They have that certain walk and feel about them. And then, after not seeing what they want regardless of what is available, they’ll come to the front and one of two things will happen. They either walk back out and leave, never saying a word, or they ask the cashier on duty, with a smug-looking smirk on their face, “Do you have any of the allocated stuff hidden in the back?” And sometimes we do, while other times, we don’t.

These are the same people who will look up online to see when deliveries and stock arrive and then call multiple times a day to repeatedly ask the same question. “Do you have any allocated products?” Over and over, they seem to think they’re entitled and we should drop everything to cater to their desires. I don’t mind looking out for loyal customers and good people, but no one is special, and being annoying and entitled doesn’t help the cause. Believe that. I could tell you some stories, and probably will at some point, but Bourbon Hunters? If you like the good stuff, just be cool about it and be respectful and it will probably work out for you. But being an entitled goof, probably not so much.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe to the site for more great quality stuff such as this. And I guess that’s all for now. Take care and be good, my friends. Don’t sweat the petty stuff and don’t pet the sweaty stuff. Just make it a Day of Dougie instead. I’ll see you in the Garden Center of Walmart.

Ubuntu!