Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie:
Best Buy, Calvin Ball & Oreos
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Good afternoon, Infidels. Yes, I have been watching Achmed, the Dead Terrorist. Why do you ask? I’m Doug and I have to leave for work in 21 minutes, so why not write a quick Day of Dougie? I know I won’t have time to do anything more than maybe the opening paragraph, but it’s better than nothing. And then I also have something to look forward to when I get home tonight. If I come home tonight, that is. I need a break from this place and may go hide out at the motel for the night. I haven’t decided yet. I hate my life sometimes.

So if this goes up on Saturday night, you’ll know I came home after work and all is well. And if it doesn’t go up until Sunday afternoon sometime, you’ll know I took that much-needed break and stayed at Pine Acres Lodge for about 10-12 hours. I’d prefer the latter, but the first is most likely. It depends on how I feel after work. But enough on all of that. Let’s pick some topics of discussion from the Magic Bag and finish outlining this column. I’ll pick my topics, write the closing paragraph, and fill in the rest later. Does that sound like a plan or what? So the topics from the infamous Magic Bag are Best Buy, Calvin Ball, and Oreos. I can already feel the discussions forming in my head as I type this. It should be fun.

NOTE: It’s now Sunday evening. I didn’t go to Pine Acres last night. I talked to a sexy friend for a little while after work and then came home and went to bed. Nearly 18 hours later, I’m getting up and ready to tackle this. I just haven’t felt like people today or anything really, but I had to pee so here I am. Let’s do this.

Best Buy

We all know what Best Buy is, right? A store that specializes in electronics, computers, etc. Are they the ones with the Geek Squad? I can’t remember, but I think they’re the ones. So, let’s talk about Best Buy. A few years ago, my computer was on its last legs and I needed a new one. I went online and found one that I liked, a Dell that I’m using right now. And I found it at Best Buy. So to get this computer, I applied for a Best Buy credit card, got approved, and ordered my new computer. So far, so good. And I got the computer, set it up, and was a happy camper.

I paid my payments and added a little extra each month and paid the computer off in short form, no problems. My balance was zero for the card and it was an easy shopping experience so all is good, right?

About a year later, I was looking into starting a podcast from here at my home. I would need a camera, a mic, and a few other things. I went to Best Buy’s online site and figured I’d find what I needed, order it, set things up, and be on my way to podcasting immortality. Guess what. Less than a year after making a huge purchase and paying off my Best Buy credit card, with no late payments and no problems, my card has been canceled. What the hell? I keep getting notifications about specials and sales, but my card was canceled. That just isn’t right.

I guess they’re thinking that if I want anything else, I’ll repeat the process, apply for a new card, buy the product, and it’s not a big deal, right? Guess what? Homie doesn’t play that. I had the card. I had the account. And I was going to use my account again, but when they decided to cancel my card for no reason except that my account was paid off and they weren’t getting money from me for a few months, they essentially told me to piss off. So to Best Buy, I’m pissed off. You’ll never get a penny of my money again or any of my business. It’s your bad business decision and your loss. I’ll go to Walmart first and I hate a damn Walmart. So there you go.

Calvin Ball

From the comic Calvin & Hobbes, it’s a great game created by the two main characters where the only rule is that there are no rules. Sounds like life to me, or at least how things have gotten since common sense vanished. There used to be decency and respect for others, and people at least had good intentions. Now it’s just use someone and take them for granted until they’ve had enough. Yeah, life is just Calvin Ball, but worse. People suck!

Oreos

I like to be double-stuffed. Oreos and the creme filling. That’s what I’m talking about. I like cookies. Get your mind out of the gutters, my friends. Unless you’re a cute dude who lives close by. And if that’s the case, call me. We’ll eat cookies together.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Any ideas for new topics to add to the bag, they’re welcome as well. Take care and I am out of here. I still have 11 minutes before I have to leave. I’m going to go brush my teeth again. I’ll see you down the road.

Ubuntu!