Tossing Salt Presents:
Day of Dougie
Hospital Chronicles II
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

On Monday afternoon, I was released from the hospital after a nerve-wracking stay of nearly a week. It was an interesting experience and I had plenty of time to do many things that I rarely do, such as watch TV, listen to music without interruptions, and write. I had a notebook with me and if anything crossed my mind, I wrote it down. I didn’t have computer access so it was old-school pen and paper notes. It didn’t matter either. An interesting statement, a song lyric, an idea for a fiction story, a topic on the news, a random thought, or just anything. If it seemed like it might be something that I could write about here at the site, I made a note of it for future reference.

And now, here we are. It’s time to go through this notebook and just talk about whatever. If I wrote a song lyric, I’m going to share it. If I come up with an idea for a story, I’ll share it. If a phrase or comment caught my ear, I’ll share it and explain why. And if I had any adventures, which I did, we’ll share those too.

This is more for my benefit than anything else, but it’s a good look at how my mind works, especially while I’m stuck in a bed for six days and having some body parts removed. It’s a Day of Dougie series, The Hospital Chronicles. Hopefully, I can make this entertaining for you, my faithful readers as well. I certainly plan to try. So let’s quit the chit-chat and just do this. Are you ready? Let’s roll.

Counting: Is it bad that within minutes of waking up after getting back from surgery, I’m reaching down to count how many toes are on my foot to make sure they didn’t take more than they were supposed to? I counted 4 so they only removed one. Good! I feel better now.

Piggys: This little piggy went to market. This little piggy stayed home. This little piggy had roast beef. And this little piggy had none. And the last little piggy? He’s not there anymore. He got sick and was removed from the rest of the piggy family. Damn piggy.

Thoughts:
Waiting
The man who will decide my fate
Do I live
Or Die
I will walk out missing a part of me
If I even walk out at all.

Story Idea: Dr. Druid stumbles across an artifact of Egyptian origin and seeks help from Andrea Thomas, aka The Mighty Isis. The two, along with Government Agent Jaime Somers, aka The Bionic Woman, pool their talents against the menace that is The Cult of Kahli and the super-villain Nekra.

Adventure Time: I had to go get an MRI and for some reason, it was nearly 8:00 pm before I was summoned. The nurse pushed me in my wheelchair out to the trailers behind the hospital to get my MRI done. We had to go outside to get to the trailers and it felt really good to be outside, especially after a couple of days of being trapped and sitting in a hospital room.

I was taken into the trailer and had the MRI. After nearly 40 minutes of being in the most uncomfortable position and being told to not move while magnetic energy took pictures of my leg and foot the extra loud machine roared and even with me wearing earplugs, caused a nice little throbbing headache to develop. I suffered in silence and drifted off into my little world. And then finally, it was over. It was time to go back to my room.

Myself and the two ladies who ran the MRI Department locked up their trailer as I was their last victim, I mean the customer of the day. We go to the doors to enter the hospital and guess what? They’re locked. Yes, we have been locked out of the hospital. One of the ladies got on her cell phone and tried to call inside, but guess what? The number she had on her phone went straight to voicemail. This is not looking good.

Luckily, the other woman had a different number and called the hospital security desk. After explaining that we were locked out and needed someone to come open the door, the security guard sighed heavily and said that he was on the way. Ten minutes later, he still wasn’t there and the MRI lady called again. And repeated that we were locked out and needed someone to come open the door. Another loud sigh and the security guard said that he was on his way. And two minutes later, he finally showed up to open the doors and let us into the hospital.

I’m so damn glad we weren’t being attacked or having any issues or else we would have been screwed. My two ladies pushed me back to my room and we laughed about being locked out of the hospital. And then I had what passes for dinner and watched Sponge Bob until the nurse came to check my vitals, draw some blood, and check my sugar. Just another day in the life.Yay!

Video Idea: Record myself on my phone, using karaoke videos for the music, singing ‘Son of a Sinner’ by Jelly Roll and ‘Give Me One Reason’ by Tracy Chapman. I did this a few weeks ago with some other songs and the videos didn’t turn out half bad so I may do some more at some point. What else do I have to do around here?

Five Questions:

If you could arrange a five-artist package show for a tour, who would you want as your musical acts?

The VIEW is cancelled and you’re told to find five new hosts. Who would you pick?

You’re doing a reboot of the TV show FRIENDS, and you can cast whoever you want for the show. Who would you choose?

What are your five favorite music genres in order from 1 to 5 with 1 being your most favorite?

Five favorite Muppets.

All I have listed in my notebook was the questions with the plans being to use these for a future edition of “Five Questions” on the site. So I will use them and make a separate post later today. You’ve been warned.

And I guess I’ll stop here. I still have thirteen more pages of notes and scribbles to go through so this is as good a place to take a break as any. Also, I have a nurse due in about fifteen minutes or so and I guess I should get ready for her.

So take care and thanks for reading. Thanks for indulging me with my rambling and rants here. Take care and be well and I’ll see you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!