Tossing Salt Presents:
Day of Dougie
Hospital Chronicles III
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

On Monday afternoon, I was released from the hospital after a nerve-wracking stay of nearly a week. It was an interesting experience and I had plenty of time to do many things that I rarely do, such as watch TV, listen to music without interruptions, and write. I had a notebook with me and if anything crossed my mind, I wrote it down. I didn’t have computer access so it was old-school pen and paper notes. It didn’t matter either. An interesting statement, a song lyric, an idea for a fiction story, a topic on the news, a random thought, or just anything. If it seemed like it might be something that I could write about here at the site, I made a note of it for future reference.

And now, here we are. It’s time to go through this notebook and just talk about whatever. If I wrote a song lyric, I’m going to share it. If I come up with an idea for a story, I’ll share it. If a phrase or comment caught my ear, I’ll share it and explain why. And if I had any adventures, which I did, we’ll share those too.

This is more for my benefit than anything else, but it’s a good look at how my mind works, especially while I’m stuck in a bed for six days and having some body parts removed. It’s a Day of Dougie series, The Hospital Chronicles. Hopefully, I can make this entertaining for you, my faithful readers as well. I certainly plan to try. So let’s quit the chit-chat and just do this. Are you ready? Let’s roll.

Note: Work on setting up a podcast/making videos and expanding the DougMaynard.com brand. Ask Mr. Fallen Artist and Brent for advice. I have the time if nothing else and need something to fill this big hole in my life since I’m not working anymore.

Note: 5:16 am – Called about needing to use the bathroom. It was 5:48 am before I got a response. I must have interrupted a nap or a booty call. This woman isn’t happy at all. Sorry to be an inconvenience.

Thought: Remember the Magic Fingers machine in the cheap motels back in the late 70s and early 80s. Feed the machine a quarter and the bed vibrates. I remember a cheap motel in Myrtle Beach. The whole Magic Fingers thing? It was a sham. It sucked.

Note: I could really use a HUGE Uber Goober HUG right now. I’m ready to snap!

Note: Abandonment and betrayal. Use and abuse and then leave when there is nothing left.

Note: He didn’t think of it until she thought of it. Don’t ever break my heart again. I just heard that in a cartoon. I felt that shit!

Story Idea: Captain Cold decides to form a new Secret Society of Super Villains, aka The Legion of Doom, to take over the world. He recruits The Joker, The Penguin, Catwoman, Poison Ivy, Gorilla Grodd, Giganta, Black Manta, The Wizard, Bizarro, Lex Luthor, and Star Sapphire to help obtain his goal of world conquest.

Lyrics:

Watching the Harry Potter
And I think of you
The spark in the dark
The light in my heart
You know it’s true
My life used to be so empty
Reborn and New
Because of You
Because of You

(Chorus)
An odd pair on paper
An odd pair in life
Nothing seems to make sense
But it feels so right
I’m just an old man
But I feel so new
Because of you
Because of you

I always knew
I’d end up alone
Someone gets too close
I push them away
I don’t see black and white
Only shades of gray
But you’ve taken my heart
Just by being you
I don’t know how to do it
But I want to
I want you

Repeat Chorus

Because of You

More Lyrics:

I felt so alone
The weight of the world crushing down on me
The pain crushing my soul
A place I never wanted to see
But maybe I’m not a waste
You’ve shown me the light
Inspirational faith from the strangest of places
I can feel my heart take flight

(Chorus)
You are an angel
You look after me
One of God’s children
Showing me where I need to be
Rapture my heart
Deliver my soul
The best of the brave
The best of the bold

I’ve never had faith
But now I’ve found you
You seem to understand
All I’ve been through
I know I’m not perfect
And no one wants us to succeed
Together we’ll do it
Together is all we need

(Chorus)

Story Idea: Barnabas Collins comes across a young boy, alone and lost. He decides to take care of the boy and look after him, making him a ward of the Collins Family. The boy’s name is Harry Potter.

Story Idea: After the Battle of Hogwarts, Severus Snape decides to leave Magical Britain and travels to a small village in Maine. The village is Collinsport and Snape’s retirement isn’t as quiet as he had hoped for as he’s drawn into a battle between the vampire, Barnabas Collins, and the evil warlock, Count Petofi. A Dark Shadows/Harry Potter crossover.

Story Idea: Director Nick Fury is looking for some recruits for SHIELD. He approaches Jaime Somers, Steve Austin (The Bionic Woman, The Six Million Dollar Man), teacher Andrea Thomas (Isis), two wizards (Harry Potter & Hermione Granger), and Dr. Anthony Druid and gives his sales pitch as to why they should come aboard.

Question: Who would be the modern-day equivalent of Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire?

Idea: Do a video on the phone of a karaoke rendition of All Cried Out by Lisa Lisa and Cult Force Jam. It’d be fun.

And I guess I’ll stop here. Don’t worry folks. Only six more pages of my hospital notes to myself to go and then we’ll get back to the usual stuff like wrestling, random Day of Dougie columns, Twitter Q&As, and whatever else. Maybe I’ll even start on some of these story ideas that I’ve come up with. Who knows? But I’ve only got maybe one more edition of the Hospital Chronicles and then we can move on. My thanks for indulging me. This is cheaper than seeing a shrink, right?

So thanks for reading. Comments, questions, etc, are all welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s wrap it up for now. I need to go put some clothes in the dryer. Take care and be good and I’ll talk to you later.

Ubuntu!