Doug’s Bad Joke Corner
25 Bad & Offensive Jokes I
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Disclaimer: These are bad. I mean really bad, both in the offensive category and some are just groaners as well. If anyone is offended, lighten up already. They’re jokes. When it comes to humor, nothing should be off-limits. I don’t care if it’s race, religion, sexual orientation, or anything else. I like to laugh and sometimes groan loudly. And believe me, after these jokes, you’ll probably do both. It’s just a little something to break the monotony. If you think this stuff is sick, you haven’t seen anything yet.

So take the stick out of your butt and get ready to laugh, or at least smirk. And if you dare to call me racist or homophobic because of these, get over it. I’m a gay, fat man with one leg who sometimes identifies as a black chick from New Orleans named Joaquina. So blah to that. Now prepare to laugh. You’re welcome.

What do your parents and Bob Ross have in common?
They both made happy little accidents.

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?
I’ll see you next month.

What is the best name for an abortion clinic?
Don’t kid yourself.

What is the difference between orphans and churches?
The churches have fathers.

What is the difference between my laundry and my little cousin?
My laundry doesn’t scream when I throw it in the dryer.

What’s long and black?
The line at KFC.

What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll-up.

Why can’t gays drive faster than 68mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.

What do you call a gay cowboy?
A Jolly Rancher

What do you call an orphan whose parents are still alive?
A mistake.

Why don’t black dudes have small dicks?
Because God didn’t want to punish them twice.

So, did you know that Allah is the only true God?
After all, our world did start with a big bang.

Do you know why there are no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.

What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew?
Harry Potter survived the chamber.

How do you ask a Jewish girl for her number?
Have her roll up her sleeve.

What’s the worst thing about being a black Jew?
You have to sit at the back of the oven.

What do you call a black-owned Abortion clinic?
Crime fighters.

Have you heard about the new gay sitcom?
“Leave it, it’s Beaver.”

What’s a homo’s favorite planet?
Uranus

What do you call a gay boxer?
Fruit Punch!

What did the Moose say after leaving the Gay Bar?
Man, I blew like 50 bucks in there.

How do you know you’re gay?
When you make Justin Bieber look straight.

Why is flour retarded?
Because it’s in-bread.

What did the retard get on his IQ test?
Drool.

What do you call an autistic midget?
A little tardy.

Yes, they are bad. Who cares? Laugh a little bit already. You’re welcome. And I’ll see you next time.

Ubuntu!