Friends, Life, and Updates
Insights & Stuff
Doug Maynard

It’s not too late. Not for me anyhow. I’m usually up most of the night and only sleep in small spurts of 1-2 hours at a time. But I’m awake now and it doesn’t look as if I’ll be going back to sleep anytime soon. So why not write for a little bit and just get some things out of my system? That sounds like a plan.

Let’s do the medical updates. My foot is a damn mess and the pain right now is probably the worse I’ve endured since leaving the hospital. When I was in the hospital, they were giving me Oxycodone and Morphine, and I was not saying no. It made things tolerable and more annoying than actually hurting. Since I’ve been home, I’ve existed on the occasional aspirin and Motrin. Other than that, it’s mind over matter and I have a high pain tolerance. I’ll distract myself with writing, reading, or just zoning out into a different place. Meditation? Hell, that description works as well as anything. It’s been bearable.

Changing the dressings twice a day, keeping the foot clean, and taking my meds for diabetes and some antibiotics, it’s stable. My foot still looks as if a pack of wild dogs used it for a chew toy. I can put some weight on it and stand or walk short distances using my prosthetic and a cane. My big test will be on Friday when I finally go see a doctor at the Wound Center. I’m thinking of taking my wheelchair and just using it to go from the truck to the inside and back. I was originally planning on making the walk, but I haven’t had the chance to practice as needed and build up my walking endurance yet. This damn rain. I hate rain. I’ll have it figured out by Friday morning though and I’ll make due. Believe that! Wish me luck.

It was a very good weekend. I won’t reveal all the details, but a very long-time friend, an amazing woman I’ve known for 36 years and consider my sister in every way, but blood, stopped by. This is the first person I’ve spoken to in person, except my Mom, since I got out of the hospital on the 3rd. Yeah, I’ve been somewhat anti-social. I get that way sometimes.

But we talked… for over four hours. Just a conversation that went a million different directions and was just pure, raw honesty, and damn, it felt so good. Even with the best of friends, there is always a part that stays buried or hidden. No one sees the real Dougie, bare and exposed. Everyone gets a part. That part is real and honest, but it’s just that. A part. But with my friend, and we have been through so much over the years, both when our friendship was solid, and also when we had ventured in different directions and taken different paths for whatever reason, it was just no secrets, no filters, and no reason to keep anything buried or tucked away. And it was one of the most real and greatest moments of my life. Yes, I was hurting the entire time due to this mess that was my foot, but I didn’t care. The real Dougie was there and making an appearance and it was just right.

We talked about our pasts, both the good and bad stuff, our mutual friends, our families, and I was even able to just be honest about the man I’ve fallen in love with and what he means to me, but without the blinders on and just to the point and keeping it real. A simple visit took a load from inside me and just kind of took it to the next level of reality. I learned things about my friend I didn’t know and she apparently saw a side of me that she didn’t know. All through conversation and talk. I can count my real friends, the ones who are beyond the normal terms of friendship or even family, on one hand. But she is, has always been, and always will be. And there you go. I love you, T. Thank you again, for everything.

If anyone does feel like swinging by for a few minutes, to chat, to talk, to just say hello, feel free. My door is always open. I value my friendships and relationships even if it doesn’t always seem like it. I’ll be honest. I have trust issues to a point and my natural reflex is to put up walls and keep everyone at a distance. Even those that I know are great people and only have the best of intentions and their heart is real. But let me tell of a brief online conversation I had a few days ago with an old friend.

My friend messaged me and asked how I was doing. We made some small talk and back-and-forth conversation. I’ve known this dude for at least twenty years and we’ve never had a cross word or bad feeling between us. He has his demons and I know that, but that doesn’t make him less of a person. But after a few minutes, the tone kind of changed and he started asking about painkillers and what I was given by the hospital for my foot. I explained that I didn’t get any kind of painkillers and was just toughing it out. Well, can’t you get some from the doctor? If you don’t take them, I could get ’em from you. A long-time relationship and a person I have a great deal of love for, and it’s just a ruse to get painkillers. Then he asked if maybe I could loan him some money. I’ve done so before, a while back, and I’m sure you can guess how that went. The conversation ended soon after the topic changed and I haven’t heard from them since.

It’s things like that as to why I push people away and have trust issues. I like people and enjoy people, but a part of me is always wondering why and looking for a motive and it’s hard to trust. It’s not right or fair to everyone, but the actions of a few and being burned so many times over the years will do that to a man. It’s done it to me. I’ll still open my door for anyone and give anyone a chance, but I’m suspicious and ready to respond accordingly as needed. Yeah, it’s true.

And I just broke 1000 words on this so I guess I should quit writing and wrap things up. I was going to speak on the second Trump assassination attempt and the arrest of P-Diddy for trafficking and whatever else. I’ll save that for next time. They’re not going to be satisfied until Trump is dead! This is a messed up world.

And I guess that’s all for now. I guess I’ll go track down some questions for future editions of the Ultimate Wrestling Q&A, and maybe wash some clothes. Thanks for reading and indulging me in my rambling ways. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome, either here at the site or use my e-mail of Doug28352@yahoo.com. And I’ll catch you later.

Ubuntu!