Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie:
Fish Sticks, Truck Stop Comedy & Torch
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

It’s nearly 4:00 am, and of course, I can’t sleep. I could do an edition of the Ultimate Wrestling Q&A. I have three future editions lined up in the queue and waiting, but I’ll need something to do later today. Besides, I watched the entire Vince McMahon docuseries on Netflix yesterday and I’m burnt out on wrestling. And despite having access to several streaming sites and literally thousands of movies, I can’t think of anything that I want to watch. I wish a certain someone was here just so I could hold him closely, but that is currently on hold and can’t happen. Damn, I hate this.

So let’s go back to old-school and a Dougie classic. A Day of Dougie. I’m not talking about the medical updates that I’ve written as of late about my foot problems and visits to the hospital. I’m talking about the real deal where I get the infamous ‘Magic Bag’, pull three topics, or as I prefer to call them, ‘Topics of Discussion’, from the bag, and then write about those topics. There is no pre-warning or previous knowledge about what the topics of discussion will be. It’s just here is the subject at hand and now, write. Sometimes, it turns out well. Other times, not so much. But it’s always fun and pushes the creative envelope. So is that what we’re doing? It sounds like a plan to me. Now, where in the hell have I put the Magic Bag? I’ve found it and the topics of discussion for today will be Fish Sticks, Truck Stop Comedy, and Torch. This shouldn’t be too bad. Let’s roll.

Fish Sticks

How do I talk about this without making Kanye West mad? I know that by now, everyone has seen that episode of South Park where this particular line was the main focus. A joke that Kayne West can’t understand because he’s a genius. It’s one of South Park’s best episodes. And I’ve never been able to eat fish sticks regularly ever since.

To be honest, I don’t much like fish sticks. They’re okay in a bind, and if you add enough ketchup, they’re tolerable, but I’m not a big seafood fan. I worked at a seafood restaurant as a teenager, a place called Jimmy’s Seafood, and the two years of working there killed any love or desire to eat fish that may have existed in my body. The joke though, is still funny. And I heard that in real life, Kayne didn’t appreciate South Park making fun of him. Oh well, he’ll be okay. Let me share the joke and then we’ll move on.

Do you like fish sticks?
What are you? A gay fish?

Truck Stop Comedy

When I hear the words ‘Truck Stop Comedy’, I immediately think of cassette tapes that were very popular in the 80s and early 90s, available in every convenience store or truck stop. They were put out by a company called Laughing Hyena and featured all sorts of comedians that might not be big stars, but were offbeat and hilarious. This is where Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy had their beginnings. This is how I was introduced and listened to talents like Jay Hickman, Beth Donahue, and Trucker Wally. Great stuff and it was funny. I have so many good memories of listening to these cassettes and I’ve still got most of my old collection somewhere around here in a box somewhere. Very little of it would be considered politically correct, but that didn’t matter back then. It was funny. It made people laugh. And that’s really all that mattered. That’s all that should matter. Good memories and good times. Hey, you wanna take a boat ride?

Torch

And this one has me stumped. When I saw the first two topics, I immediately had ideas and thoughts form in my head. For a word like a torch, I have nothing. A stick that’s on fire at one end? Johnny Storm of the Fantastic Four? Wade Keller’s excellent pro wrestling newsletter, or at least it used to be, the Pro Wrestling Torch. All of those are possibilities to use for a paragraph or two, but I’m just not feeling it.

How about love and the strong desires a person can have for another person, albeit unrequited or unfulfilled? Person X carries a torch for Person Y. Yeah, I can relate to that one at the moment and it provides me with a narrative to present. So torch is when someone desires someone else. Sounds like something to think about. I miss you, E.

And there you go. That wasn’t too painful, I hope. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. We’ve got Hurricane Helene creeping up the east coast and she looks as if she’s going to be rough over the next few days, so be safe. It’s Friday morning now, so I’m expecting Saturday is when we’ll see the worst of her. Just please, be careful. And I guess I’m shutting down shop for now. So long as we keep power, I’ll be back later with more stuff. Be good and I’ll see you on the flip side. Have a great Day of Dougie and never forget, who loves you, baby.

Ubuntu!