Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie
Peppa Pig, Yakuza & Demolition Man
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Greetings infidels. It’s me, your resident Party Host and Guiding Light, Dougie, and I’m back with a traditional Day of Dougie post. Yeah, I am so damn restless and bored. I’m essentially homebound at the moment due to my foot, and I’m about to bounce off the walls and lose my mind. I’ve written several things today, watched several episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on HULU, cleaned the bathroom, swept and mopped the kitchen, and have my dirty clothes ready to be washed as soon as Ma finishes with hers. It’s been a productive day, but I hate being stuck at the house.

I do miss working and my friends/family at the ABC store. I would try and go back if I could, but I can’t stand for long, can barely walk ten feet, and have no stamina or energy. The mind is still allegedly good, well as good as it ever was, but the body has failed me and let me down. So now, I just write a lot. And that is exactly what I plan on doing right now. It’s time for a Day of Dougie.

You know how this works. I draw out three topics of conversation from the infamous Magic Bag. And then, with no warnings or knowledge, no preparation, and no chance to figure things out, I write about those same topics of conversation. Sometimes it will work out well and I can come up with some good stuff. And other times, maybe not so well. It’s always fun though and a great creative exercise. So let’s figure out what the topics will be and get busy.

I’m reaching into the bag and the topics of conversation for tonight are Peppa Pig, Yakuza, and Demolition Man. Okay, this one might be fun. Let’s give it a shot. I’m Doug and this is a Day of Dougie. Let’s roll.

Peppa Pig

Damn, she is annoying. So proper and so British. No offense to my friends in the UK, but if Peppa Pig represents your country, you need to switch things up. I get it. We have plenty of annoying things as well, with Blues Clues, Yogi Bear, and Dora the Explorer, but still. At least we counter that crap with Sponge Bob and Family Guy. I think I have honestly seen every episode of Peppa Pig ever made. I have amazing, wonderful, and exceptional kids I claim as my grand-younguns. They watched that stuff (and Paw Patrol) and have still turned out awesome. But Peppa? She needs to be cured and then turned into a Ham Sandwich. And that’s all I have to say about that. And as for George and his “dinosaurs”. Shut the hell up and quit crying already. Damn brat!

Yakuza

The Japanese Mafia and organized crime. I’ve read about them and have seen them mentioned in magazines, comics, and other places. They keep things under control in Japan, by whatever means necessary. And nobody crosses them or tries to get in their way. That’s the way organized crime should be. It’s what our current federal government aspires to be. But at least the Japanese are smarter about it and while their methods are often illegal, their eyes are on the big picture of things and they don’t purposely seek to destroy their own nation. I’d take the Yakuza, or hell, even the old-school Mafia that was so dominant in our nation in the 60s and 70s over what our government has become any day. Yeah, I have nothing so I’m reaching. I do that sometimes. It is what it is. Let’s move on.

Demolition Man

I seem to recall a movie by this name. Wasn’t it one of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s flicks? I remember the movie, but I never remember actually seeing it. I’m sure that I did at some point, but I can’t remember it. I remember seeing Twins though. Arnold and Danny Devito as twin brothers. Damn, that movie sucked. But at least I do remember it.

When I think of Demolition Man, I think of a minor character in the old Captain America comic books in the early 90s. Dennis Dunphy. A former wrestler who got pumped up with some chemicals and became stronger. He was teamed up with The Thing and Captain America before becoming homeless. He was an interesting and unique character of the times. He occasionally shows up in cameo spots in different comics but hasn’t been focused on for much of anything in years.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. Kiss your cat on the head for me and for all of you who are facing Hurricane Helene, be careful and be safe. We’re praying for you. And I guess that’s all for now. I’m Doug and this has been a Day of Dougie. I’ll see you at the dog park. I’ll be the guy with my cat.

Ubuntu!