Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie
Honey, ID, and Confrontation
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Good morning and welcome to a Day of Dougie. It’s 5:32 in the morning and I’ve been up all night. I tried to sleep, but too many thoughts were running through my head. So I got back up and thus far, I’ve had a productive night. I’ve written three editions of the Ultimate Wrestling Q&A, washed and dried a load of clothes, watched an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on HULU, and put in an order for a few necessities from Walmart, which will be delivered around 8:00 am. I hate Walmart, but I will admit that the curbside pick-up and the delivery have been fantastic. I miss going to Food Lion, but since I can barely walk anymore, this change is well worth it.

Man, I have been so bummed out as of late. I’m trying to stay positive, but I understand now why so many people on disability turn into alcoholics, drug addicts, or are borderline suicidal. And no, I’m not any of those, but I get it and understand it more than ever. I often go weeks at a time with no human contact at all except for dealing with my Mom, and although I do love her, she’s not the most positive or empathic person to be around. But she means well and the intentions are good. I just keep reminding myself of that. She loves me. I know that. But at times, it’s hard to handle. And why am I talking about this? My bad!

So, Day of Dougie, right? I think everyone knows the routine by now. I pick three topics of discussion from the Magic Bag and then, with no preparation, or advance knowledge, I write about these topics with whatever pops into my head. Sometimes it’s easy and other times, not so much. But it’s almost always fun, right? So let’s get the Magic Bag and figure out what the agenda will be for today. We have Honey, ID, and Confrontation. This might be interesting. Let’s roll.

Honey

A gift from the bees and so sweet. It’s good on almost everything. And Winnie the Pooh likes it. I have to confess here though. I’m not a big fan. I love the Bit-O-Honey candies, but it’s just too sweet for my tastes. And sticky. While sweet and sticky are not bad things at all, it’s just not the combination I want for my food. I’ve used it before while making baked beans and it did spice up the flavor, but it’s just not for me. Oh, bother!

ID

In the United States, you need ID to buy cigarettes, buy alcohol, enter a courthouse, rent a car, buy Sudafed, get a motel room, cash a check, open an account, buy an adult magazine, rent a Post Office box, buy concert tickets, enter a political rally, get a bus or plane ticket, or get a book from the library. BUT, requiring an ID to vote? That’s racist because allegedly, people of color are too dumb to acquire an ID. Yeah, that’s what they’re trying to tell us. It just doesn’t make sense. Our world and our Government are at work. And they wonder why I don’t trust the bastards.

Confrontation

I don’t like confrontation. I’m a live and let live kind of guy and so long as your actions don’t impede on mine, we’re cool. But just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean I won’t do it. I just pick my shots and someone has to be an absolute assclown before I deem them worth my attention or effort. But if my hair starts to rise and I can feel the tension, all bets are off. And if someone is a total chuckwagon, then ditto. It’ll go from whatever to let’s rock pretty damn fast. And here’s a promise. I’ll win. So let’s all be chill and mellow. We can disagree and still be friends. But don’t poke this bear unless you’re a really cute guy, because this bear bites. Just saying.

And there you go. Thanks for reading and indulging my late-night antics. I do appreciate it. I guess now I’ll go get cleaned up before the Walmart delivery person gets here and maybe attempt to trim up my hair a bit. I need a haircut badly. I look like a homeless woolly-booger. I could go to my barber, but I’m out of money until Tuesday and I’m not supposed to walk anywhere and stay off my feet. I can do a little trim. And if I screw up, who is going to see me, right? I’ll think about it.

And again, thank you for everything. My writing and this site are how I maintain my sanity these days. Reality sucks and this is my distraction. And I need to close this up. Take care and be well, my friends. I’m Doug and this is a Day of Dougie. I’ll see you later.

Ubuntu!