Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie
Survey, The California Raisins & Center Square
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

It’s nearly 3 am and I can’t sleep. I’ve already cleaned out the fridge & freezer, washed dishes, watched a movie on Tubi (Cannonball Run 2), and thrown a load of clothes in the washer. And yes, Mouthie was here to help me with every task. Damn cat! Now, he’s gone to bed and I’m still wide awake. So that means it’s time for a Day of Dougie. All together now, YAY!

Before I start on that, let me give a quick medical update. I went to the doctor this afternoon and we’re discontinuing the Wound Vac. My foot has healed well enough that it’s not necessary anymore. The next step is the HBO Chamber where I’ll lay in a glass tube and be saturated by pure oxygen for an hour a day, five days a week, for a couple of months. Been there and done that, but they want me to do it again for my foot and toe. What fun. That’ll probably start next week or so. But I’m free of the little machine and strapped to it 24/7. Unfortunately, this also brings an end to my Home Health Care and my three weekly visits by Erica, Erin, and Shawana. I’ll miss those lovely ladies. They are excellent at their job and fun to talk to. So no more machines strapped to me, but I lose my nurses and get to pretend I’m Michael Jackson laying in the Oxygen tank as an alternative. Film at 11.

Okay, now let’s get to doing a Day of Dougie. I’ve got the infamous Magic Bag and I’m looking for topics of discussion. We have Surveys (again), The California Raisins, and Center Square. How many times is “Survey” in this bag? At least a dozen or more. Oh well, the bag has spoken so I’ll google MySpace surveys and see what they give me. As for the other two topics of discussion, let the games begin.

California Raisins

I remember these very well. Claymation raisins singing Motown songs in commercials. I can’t remember what the commercial was about. Probably raisins. But they were everywhere. One of the fast-food burger joints even had little figurines of Raisins. I think it was Hardees. We have a set of them somewhere around here. My oldest brother, Steve, loved stuff like that and collected them all. I think they’re in a box out in the storage building. There is so much stuff out there. I need to have a yard sale one weekend. But that’s something to ponder on later. The California Raisins were cool. Very cool. And that’s the bottom line because I just said so.

Center Square

This is a reference to the game show Hollywood Squares. That show was so awesome. Peter Marshall was the original host. The show was canceled but brought back with John Davidson as the host. Another cancellation and Tom Bergeron was the host. And there was another reboot with Bowser from Sha Na Na as the host, but we don’t speak of that last effort. It was bad! The show was simple enough. Nine celebrities sit in boxes and the contestants try to match their answers to questions and play Tic Tac Toe. The most called upon box was the center square. Three celebrities frequented that box and made it their own. Paul Lynde, Joan Rivers, and Whoopi Goldberg. Two of these stars were hilarious. The other was Whoopi. Paul Lynde and Joan were the best part of that show. And it all started with a spot in the center square.

Survey Time

And away we go.

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks a lot?: I’m not crazy about it, but we all have our demons and if he chooses to deal with them in that manner, it’s not my place to complain.

Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?:
Morning. It’s refreshing and a great way to start the day.

Do you have any expensive jewelry?: I’m not big on jewelry, but I do have a few nice things.

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?: I do and she is incredible and amazing.

Excited for anything this week?: Not especially, but it’s still early so we’ll see what happens.

Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant?: I think crying might be appropriate. I don’t think that’s anything I need to worry about though.

Where is your phone?: On the table just left of my hand.

Do you think your current pets will be alive ten years from now?: Sparky won’t be. He’s already 13-14 years old and showing his age. Mouthie is 5 so I think he’s got a good chance.

When was your last bubble bath?: I don’t even remember. It’s been a while.

How many kids do you want to have?: I’m too old to worry about all of that. That ship has long passed. My bro-son, his beautiful wife, and their awesome kids are all the younguns I need or want.

What outfit do you have on at this exact moment?: Shorts and a T-shirt. It’s 3:30 in the morning. No need to dress up or be fancy.

What did you do today?: Worked on the truck, cleaned house, had doctor’s appointments, and slept.

What color is your hair?: Black with a lot of gray mixed in. I’m getting old.

Did you hug or kiss anyone today?: No, unfortunately not. I could use a good Uber-Hug right now.

Have you ever told anyone you loved them?: I have.

Have you ever passed out because of alcohol?: Maybe once or twice, but it was a long time ago.

Wanna get married?: I do, but it has to be to the right guy and unfortunately, things are not great at the moment. But if I knew he’d say yes, I’d marry him right now with no hesitation.

How many wives/husbands do you want?: Just one. I’m not a Mormon or a cult leader. Same thing. Only one marriage and it has to be to the right guy.

Where would you like to live?: In a Pineapple up under the sea. Or in a three-bedroom apartment in Wilmington, NC with Eric and Mouthie.

When was the last time you laughed?: This afternoon while speaking to my doctor. Dr. Neal had jokes.

If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: Probably not. I’m kind of a weirdo who puts up walls and drives people away.

What do you currently hate?: My health situation and how I’ve declined over the past three years. It’s not pretty.

Would you be able to tell someone you love them, even if you didn’t feel it?: In the past, yes. I was just as shallow as everyone else and would say anything to get what I wanted. Now? I couldn’t do it. If I say I love you, I mean it!

What is your issue right now?: No money and lots of stress.

How old will you be in 8 months?: I’ll have just turned 59 years old.

Do you wish you’d be married by then?: I do and who knows, I may very well be by that time. It would only take a very open conversation, swallowing a little pride, and asking the question. I have the ring so who knows?

Was yesterday better than today?: Yesterday was productive. As for today, it remains to be seen.

What does your last text message say?: It was a reminder from my doctor about an appointment yesterday afternoon. I don’t get very many text messages anymore. Nobody loves me anymore.

Do you have a crush on anyone?: It’s more than a crush. I seriously love the dude. But yeah, there are a few guys I like to talk to and look at with lust in my eyes. It never hurts to look.

Do you prefer to call or text?: I’m a texter. Talking on phones makes my anxiety go crazy.

Do you have any pets?: I have furry companions and children, with my nephew, Sparky, and my baby, Mouthie. They’re not pets. They’re family.

What were you doing at midnight last night?: I was probably on the computer.

How do you feel right now?: I feel okay. I’m starting to get tired.

Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?: Shoes.

Are you a social person?: I used to be, but as I’ve gotten older and been having to deal with more medical issues, I’ve gotten less and less sociable. I find I’m withdrawing more and more from the world every day.

What was the last thing you ate?: A bowl of cereal. Fruit Loops. Yay!

Favorite colors?: Black, purple, and hot pink.

What are you doing for your next birthday?: Hopefully breathing, It’s a long way away. I’m not trying to plan that far ahead.

Are you happy with that?: I’m fine with it.

Would you kiss your ex ?: Which one? And yes, I would.

Have you ever had your heart broken? Every day that passes and we’re not speaking or together, yes.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions or suggestions for topics to add to the Magic Bag, just give me a shout and let me know. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And I guess I’m out of here for now. Time to throw clothes into the dryer and attempt to get an hour or two of sleep. Be well, my friends. I’ll see you later today with a new edition of the Ultimate Wrestling Q&A. I’m down. I’m gone.

Ubuntu!