Tossing Salt Presents:
12 (Dougie) Days of Christmas – Day10
Games People Play, Popcorn Sutton, Elves, and Silver & Gold
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Good morning, dear friends, and welcome to a very special edition of 12 (Dougie) Days of Christmas. And why, you ask, is it so special? No reason, really, but I couldn’t think of an intro line and that was the first thing that came to mind. So this isn’t like Arnold the guy at the bicycle shop. It’s just another Day of Dougie, the Christmas edition. But it is Day 10 and 10 is a special number, right? Two days to go until Christmas. Damn, maybe I should start my Christmas shopping soon? I’ll ponder on that.

So, it’s Day 10 and I haven’t missed a day or slacked off yet. There’s still time though so have faith. It’ll happen. But not today, my friends. I’m kind of ready to go. Let’s get the Magic Bag and see what lies in store for today. We’ve got Games People Play & Popcorn Sutton. As for the Christmas topic of discussion, we’re in for a treat. Two topics are stuck together and since I’m in a good mood, I’ll do both of them. We’ve got Silver & Gold, and Elves. And now that we know the topics, I guess I’d better get to writing. Ho ho ho! And away we go.

Did you see that? I’m a poet and didn’t even know it. Yay me! Now, let’s rock.

Games People Play

So what kind of games do people play? I used to play Spades quite frequently, plus we had drinking games like Quarters and Chandeliers, which I was quite good at. I knew how to bounce a quarter when I was younger. And there’s hopscotch, Monopoly, and Jacks.

But I guess the games now, since we’ve all grown up and become adults are more advanced and psychological like manipulation, psychological warfare, and stealing the sheets at night so I can be warm while my partner freezes his ass off. Yeah, things change a lot when you get older. I liked the kid games better. Not as many scars and doesn’t take nearly as long to recover. I don’t like playing games anyhow. Just say what you want or think. I’ll do the same and we take it from there. It makes for a much easier life.

Popcorn Sutton

One of the last great Moonshiners, Popcorn Sutton is a drinking legend. Not so much for actual drinking, but for the moonshine that he made. I think there was a late-night reality show about Popcorn Sutton as well. I never saw it, but I’ve heard people speak of it and him when I was working at the ABC store.

I just went to Wikipedia to find out more about Popcorn Sutton. He died of suicide rather than go to prison for a long list of crimes related to bootlegging, moonshine, and other crimes. Singer Hank Williams Jr. and his widow, Pam Sutton, got together after his death and created a Tennessee White Whiskey in Sutton’s honor. Very cool.

The main thing I know and remember was that at work, at the ABC store, we had a lifesized cutout of Sutton that a salesman had brought to the store. We had him perched up at the back of the store by the door to the stockroom. And every time you would look at that cutout, it felt as if he was staring back at you. And he was a creepy-looking dude. He gave me the creeps. Bill, our manager, eventually moved him to the stockroom where I guess he’s still there even now. And he can stay there.

Silver & Gold

What was the name of the prospector from the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer cartoon? You know the one who would constantly throw his pick-axe up into the air, let it land, and then taste the tip, muttering after determining if it tastes like silver or gold. He even did a song as part of the cartoon. Was it Cornelius? I can’t remember. But I do remember the character and that’s how I’m tying this into the Christmas theme of this blog series.

His name was Yukon Cornelius. Yes, I looked it up. He also “died” at the end when he and the Abominable Snow Monster fell off a cliff, only to return later at the end of the show, saying that they survived due to the Abominable’s bouncing ability. They then helped to decorate Santa’s Christmas tree. It’s a classic Christmas story and Yukon Cornelius was in it because he met Rudolph and Hermey the Elf while out looking for the two things he loved the most, silver and gold. And there you go. Don’t you love how it all works out in the end?

One extra bit of fun trivia: My nephew, Shawn, and Yukon Cornelius, could pass for twins. Well, Shawn is human, and Cornelius is claymation, but still. I am so proud of that guy. Love you, Shawn. And finally…

Elves

Santa has his elves, but watching the movie Elf has ruined me for those tiny toy-making creatures. I want to talk about House Elves. Watch the Harry Potter movies and you’ll see plenty of House Elves. Okay, mainly you’ll see Dobby and Kreacher, but there are plenty of others behind the scenes, doing all the cooking, cleaning, and other things that the human wizards are too lazy to do. A house elf is a magical creature that magically binds itself to a family and becomes, more or less, a slave. They need the magical bond to stay alive and the ass-clown Wizards fully take advantage and use them for all menial tasks.

All but Dobby of course. Dobby has no Master. Dobby is a free elf! Well, he wasn’t a free elf and was bound to the Malfoy family until Harry Potter tricked Lucius Malfoy into giving Dobby a sock. The way the magic worked, was if a Master gave an elf clothing, they broke the magical bond and the elf was free. It’s a pretty cool trick and a reminder to always read the fine print.

I was going to say something else, but now my mind is going blank. I hate it when that happens. Oh yeah, I want a Magical House Elf. If anyone from the Wizarding World sees this and knows one who is looking for a family to bond with, let me know. I have plenty of cleaning and other deeds for him/her to do. They’d be very happy here and the cat would love them.

And there you go. I think it’s time to wrap it up and call it a day. Thanks for reading. And well, I’ll be back tomorrow with Day 11 of the 12 (Dougie) Days of Christmas. Be good, my friends, and stay warm. Baby, it’s cold outside. I’ll see you tomorrow. Merry Christmas.

Ubuntu!