Tossing Salt Presents:
12 (Dougie) Days of Christmas – Day 12
Walmart, Buy One – Get One, and Jesus
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

I’m Doug and welcome to Day 12 of the 12 (Dougie) Days of Christmas. Yeah, we made it through the entire run. I’m not really feeling it, but I had fun and love doing these things. I hope y’all enjoy reading them as much as I like writing them. I don’t have much to chit-chat about tonight. All my good stuff is covered in the first topic. Oh yeah, the Topics of Discussion for today are Walmart, Buy One-Get One, and Jesus. And let’s just jump right into it, shall we? Merry Christmas Adam. Let’s roll.

Walmart

Walmart is truly the suckiest of all major corporate entities. I truly believe that. But they’re also what I refer to as a necessary evil. They’re convenient and deliver my groceries to the back door, which I truly enjoy. For that reason, I can overlook most of the headaches they present. Until now, that is. They pissed me off yesterday. Do you want to hear how? Of course, you do.

I needed some groceries. Mainly drink since I was completely out of my Zeros. All I had to drink was Peach Flavored Water and Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi. So, I made an order. This was on Saturday night, around 8:00 pm, when I placed the order so there would be no problems. It was scheduled to be delivered Sunday afternoon between 1:00 pm and 3:00 pm.

Guess what happened? At 3:00 pm., I got a text notification that my order had been delayed but would be there soon. Okay, this happens so it’s no big deal. Guess what time the order finally arrived? 5:47 pm. Nearly three hours after the scheduled delivery time. And now, here’s the kicker. My order had 24 items in it. They forgot 7 of them, including ALL the drinks. How in the hell does this happen? My driver was very apologetic about being late and made some excuses about waiting at the door for over two hours. He was a damn hottie too. A big dude, muscular with a little belly, dark skin, green eyes, and needing a shave. Woof! I immediately fell in lust! I’d love to tip him a few times. Double-woof! Now, what was I saying?

Okay, my groceries are there. The driver leaves. He’s got a great ass too. I watched as he left and then proceeded to put up my stuff. And that’s when I realized what was missing. And I got pissed. No drinks. No cat treats. What was the damn point? So, I went online to do a refund and leave a nasty review. Not for the driver. I gave him 5 stars. But the rest of the order wasn’t there. The refund wouldn’t go through, so I called customer service and had a foreign voice recording that made me even more mad. I tried to explain the situation to no avail and got increasingly frustrated. Yes, I may have used some profanity. Finally, I just told them to F*** Off! And hung up. I went back online and managed to get my refund for the missing items, and it was credited almost immediately to my account. To hell with Walmart! I’m through with them. Never again!

But guess what? After I left the Wound Center this morning, after doing my HBO Chamber stuff and watching M*A*S*H, I went by Food Lion to pick up some drinks and a few things that Walmart DID NOT send in my grocery order Sunday night. And that place was packed. Every parking spot was filled except for two spots along the curb at the far end of the lot where employees park—every single one. And I can’t walk that far across the parking lot. So, I said to hell with it, and came home.

And yes, I got on the computer and decided that since Christmas is the time for family, love, and forgiveness, I’d give Walmart one more chance. I placed an order and now we wait. It’s due to be delivered between 5:00 pm and 7:00 pm. It’s 5:45 pm as I type this. And we wait. Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas Adam! I’ll update this before I post this to the site. And now, on to other stuff.

Update: My stuff was supposed to arrive between 5:00 pm and 7:00 pm. It arrived at 9:47 pm. But everything was there. And it was a family affair with a man, his wife, and their daughter, who were the ones doing the deliveries. They were friendly and cool. But Walmart still sucks! Nearly three hours late. Oy vey!

Buy One, Get One

Who doesn’t love a deal, right? One of the most popular shopping deals is the infamous BOGO sales, aka Buy One and Get One Free. It sounds so good. But is it? Is it really? How much have they jacked up the price of the first one to make sure they’re not losing any money? Yeah, there is always a catch. It’s all about the profit. But honestly, that’s how capitalism works. A business is there to make money and a profit above all else. The fake-ass BOGO deals bring customers into the business, and they think they’re getting a deal, so they come back. And they spend money. I don’t think they’re getting anything free regardless of what the signs or salesperson might say. And where am I going with this? My mind just went blank. Never mind then. Let’s move on.

Jesus

He’s the reason for the season. I’m not a religious person by nature, but in my own way, I’m a believer. Jesus died for our sins, and he is the reason we are all here today. I respect others and everyone has a right to believe what they believe. We can’t force our beliefs on anyone else, but neither can they force their beliefs on us. It’s all about courtesy and respect. But the bottom line is, as I said earlier, Jesus is the reason for the season. That, I do believe. And I’m thankful for that belief and the Lord and all his amazing blessings. Here’s a great song and video by Waylon Jennings who says it perfectly, the words that I can’t always find. Enjoy.

Waylon Jennings – I Do Believe

And there you go. Thanks again for reading and for joining me on this journey of nostalgia, sentiment, and randomness over the past two weeks. I appreciate it so very much. To my family, Ken & the kids, Theresa, The Stoney Crew, my ABC Peeps, the Dairy Mart folks, my wrestling brothers & sisters, the Montclair Mafia, Youngblood, the guy I love (Eric), and so many others who have been part of my life for the past fifty-plus years, Merry Christmas. I love and appreciate all of you so very much. God Bless and I’ll see you later.

Ubuntu!