Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A#20
Random Questions from Twitter/X
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

This world is full of questions. And sometimes, I will try to provide a few answers. These are random questions from my Twitter feed. And the answers are all Dougie. Let’s roll.

What is your biggest pet peeve when it comes to dating?

Having to leave the house and interact with the other person to get to know them better. And going out in public. And making small talk. Just the whole damn process to be honest about it.

If you had an animal or plant renamed in your honor, what would you want to carry your name?

Let’s go with a plant. The Venus Fly Trap. A flesh-eating plant. Why am I getting flashbacks of watching the Little Shop of Horrors? They called that big old man-eating plant, Audrey. Well, call the little ones Dougies.

If you could choose any job to be replaced by robots, what job would you make obsolete?

The people in charge of the delivery service from Walmart. They’re incompetent and can’t get an order out on time or right to save their lives. Let a machine do it. Maybe the stuff would get here on time for a change.

Would you want to have a lot of clothes or multiple pairs of shoes?

What the hell am I going to do with multiple pairs of shoes? I only have one leg and only a half-a-foot on that one. Shoes are the least of my worries. But new clothes? I could use a few pairs of shorts, some wrestling t-shirts, and a Fedora. Yeah, I’d take the clothes.

If you were chosen to be the first human to make contact with aliens, would you want to?

I don’t even like talking to other humans so why the hell would I want to talk to an alien? I like cats. I’ll talk to them. I like maybe six people. I’ll talk to them. But anyone else, regardless of whether they’re human or alien, can just please not bother me… unless they’re a really cute guy. If that’s the case, I can fake the small talk for a few minutes.

Is flirting cheating?

Flirting in itself is not cheating. Some people are just natural flirts and it’s their personality. Hell, I’m in love with a dude, but I still like to flirt sometimes. If it goes beyond casual flirting, that’s when it becomes cheating.

If you get the chance to chat with three famous people in history, who would you choose and why?

People in history? I think three very interesting people would be President Ronald Reagan, Johnny Carson, and Paul Lynde. President Reagan for the political side of things, while Carson and Lynde for being great entertainers with fascinating stories to tell.

What is the oldest age someone should become a father?

If I had to put an age cap on being a new father, I’d say around 40. You want to be young enough to be there as the kids grow up and become young men and women without being too old to enjoy it. My biggest regret is that I never had any kids. And I’m way too old now.

You get one text, no more than 160 characters, that gets sent to everyone’s phone. What does it say?

It’s your duty to shake your booty. Don’t sweat the petty stuff and don’t pet the sweaty stuff. Ubuntu (I am because you are!) Love you mean it!

What would be the one thing you would change about yourself if you could?

Besides my physical health, I think I’d change my self-confidence level and my ability to deal with other people better. I suck at small talk and get anxious when having to meet or socialize with people. I don’t feel comfortable around others and tend to move to the background rather than be the center of attention. I’m getting better with that, but my social skills and confidence are still lacking at times. That, I would love to change.

And that’s enough for now. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Take care, my friends. I wish you the very best life has to offer. Love you, mean it. I’ll see you later.

Merry Christmas!

Ubuntu!