Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers for a few of them. It’s Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s do this.

Do you think hiring the most skilled workers is more important than Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion?

Is this even a real question? When hiring someone for a job, you want the best you can get, regardless of race, gender, religion, sexuality, or any of that garbage. It should be the most qualified candidate with the most potential, period.

Do you like Oysters?

Oysters are so damn nasty. I don’t mind the occasional pearl necklace, but the slimy-ass slug-like mollusc, they are disgusting.

If you could erase one thing from existence, what would it be?

Pedophiles. Racists. People who are cruel to animals. People who watch The View. People who abuse children or the elderly. Taylor Swift or Beyonce fans. Take your pick because this world would be a much better place with all of those people gone.

Is your glass half-full or half-empty?

I don’t use a glass. I drink out of a bottle. And currently, it’s empty. I need a refill.

What cartoon world do you wish you could live in forever?

Probably the Looney Toons universe. I could chill with Bugs Bunny, hunt with Elmer Fudd, help Wile E. Coyote catch that damn Road Runner, and watch Marvin Martian get a big Ka-Boom when he blows up the earth for blocking his view. If Michael Jordan could play basketball there, like he did in Space Jam, just imagine all the trouble I could get into.

If you were alive a thousand years ago, do you wonder what your job would have been?

For some reason, I’m thinking of either a Philosopher or a sheep herder. I don’t know much about raising sheep, but I can bullshit with the best of them if necessary.

What do you think you would be if you were reincarnated as an animal based on your personality?

Considering how much alike me and Mouthie are, I don’t know if he’s taken after me or if I’m taking after him. So sleep, eat, shit, and complain. And be adorable at the same time. Yeah, I’d definitely be a cat.

If you were to go back in time, is there anything from your school life that you would like to experience again?

Not so much school, but the afternoons and weekends, with Jim, Greg, LeeAnn, Donald & John, and the rest of my neighborhood friends. We were always together, always doing something, and it was just close friendships, more like a family. I just realized that the only people I’ve seen in the last four days are my Mom and my nurse. And one text from K-Mak. I hate being alone. Back in those days, I didn’t know what alone was. It was a great time.

What are your plans for 2025?

Continue to get this foot better, watch my diabetes and keep it under control, keep my website up and growing, take down a few walls and open some doors to hopefully mend some relationships, and get married. I have to work on that last one. I already have the “who” worked out, once we start talking again. I’m going to make him the luckiest man in the world and make him mine, whether he likes it or not. I think he will lol.

If you were a ghost, who would you haunt?

I can’t think of anyone at the moment. I’m sure that if I sat down, seriously thought about it, and gave it some effort, I could come up with a good list. But off the top of my head, I can’t think of anyone worth the trouble. Maybe some friendly, ghostly visits to people I love to say hello to, but a serious haunting to make their life a living hell? I have nothing.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s wrap things up. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at Gravity Hill.

Ubuntu!