Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

X, aka Twitter, has many things, good and bad. And there are always questions being asked. I’ve taken ten of the better ones from my timeline and I’m answering them here. I’m Doug, and this is the Ultimate X Q&A. Ler’s rock!

If You just won $10 million. What’s your first purchase?

The first purchase wouldn’t even be a purchase, but more just paying off any old debts I may have for myself and my Mom. And then, the spending starts. A few clothes, one good old-fashioned reunion party for my old crew, and a small radio station so I could have my own WKRP, with a separate office and studio for my wrestling stuff and videos.

Which one is creepier – sneaking up on someone or staring at them through binoculars?

Sneaking up on someone can happen for various reasons, both good and bad. It’s not creepy, but more just rude. Watching someone from a distance with binoculars though? Yeah, that’s creepy as hell.

Based on your race, what is the stereotype that fits you the most?

I have no rhythm at all. I can’t dance, sing, or play basketball. Hell, I can’t even grow a ‘Fro. I’m just too damn white.

Do you return a smile when someone offers one to you?

A smile, a smirk, or at least a small nod of acknowledgment. I might not like people most of the time, but I’m not going to be rude about it. I worked in retail for over forty years. I can fake it with the best of them.

Would you support Donald Trump FIRING every MAN pretending to be a WOMAN in the military?

Being delusional and pretending to be something that you’re not, to me, qualifies as a mental illness. Give them the boot!

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Italy?

Spaghetti, even though I believe it’s actually from the Orient. But it’s considered Italian, so we’ll go with that.

Who would be the first person you would help out if you won the lottery?

My bro-son and the family. I love them folks more than any other people on this planet and even when we’re not walking the same paths, I know that Kenneth always has my back. And vice-versa. So, they would be first. And my mom, of course.

What genre of music do YOU like the least?

Hardcore gangsta rap and mumble rap. I don’t mind some rap music, but I want to be able to understand what they’re saying and I don’t need any bitches & ho’s bullshit. That rap is crap. Yeah, good music is like a candy bar. You throw away the rapper.

It’s not gay to top. Yes or no?

No, of course not. That’s what I tell every straight guy I’ve ever been with. That doesn’t make you gay. No, not at all. Now shut up and get naked! Yeah, I like my straight guys. The only difference between a straight guy and a gay guy is maybe a beer, so they can claim they were drunk, and an opportunity. Yeah, men are dogs. But I like a good dog every so often. Woof!

Do you believe your tap water is safe to drink without any additional filtering?

Probably not, but then again, what is safe these days? Every food item and every drink has chemicals and preservatives in it. Nothing is truly safe or good for us anymore. We just go with it and hope for the best.

And there you go. One more for the books. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And I guess that’s all for now. I’ll see you in the funny pages.

Ubuntu!