Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

X, formerly known as Twitter, has a lot going on. And some of that is questions about the most random of things on the timelines. This is where I take a few of those random questions, the better ones, and have some fun with them. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. I’m Doug. Now, let’s dive in, shall we?

What’s one skill you wish you’d have?

The ability to play piano. It would be so awesome to sit down at a piano and do my impression of Stevie Wonder. Of course, he’d never see it, but it would be fun. But alas, I have no musical abilities. I got blessed with being a sexy beast instead. It’s the music world’s loss.

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be cleaning, cooking, or gardening?

I don’t do outside so I couldn’t care less about the gardening. I have literally killed plastic plants before so that’s just not my thing. I love to cook and get suspicious of other people’s cooking. I prefer my own or, if I have coupons, doing the drive-thru at KFC, Burger King, or Taco Bell. And that leaves cleaning. Bingo! We have a winner. I do what I have to, but I hate cleaning the house. Help for that would be nice.

What was normal when you were a kid, but you never see anymore?

Groups of kids hanging out, riding bikes, playing ball, and just being kids, roaming around the neighborhood. If you see a group of kids now, they’re probably coming to rob or shoot you. Or they’re trying to score some drugs. It’s sad, but it’s unfortunately very true.

Would you choose unlimited money or perfect health for life?

A few years ago, I’d say show me the money. But for the past couple of years, I’d had medical issues creep up on me and slam me down repeatedly. I was Superman until I hit age 50 and then someone slipped kryptonite into my drink and I’ve been on the downslide ever since. And money isn’t everything. So long as I can pay my bills and live moderately comfortably, that’s all the money I need. I’d go for the health thing. If I’m healthy, I can work and make money. But as things are these days, it’s hard to do either.

How do you think technology will change our daily lives in the coming decade?

It will continue to make people lazier, more dependent on machines, and more lacking in common sense with every year that passes as our dependence on technology increases. Creativity and intelligence will fade and we’ll eventually become as robotic as the machines that control us.

What is the last movie to make you cry?

RENT! It’s a great movie and I watched it a few nights ago on, I think Hulu. And I was already in my emotions as I watched it and well, when Angel died, the tears just started as they often do. It doesn’t take much these days to get the allergies to act up.

What is the most unusual food you’ve ever tried?

Knowingly? It was squid. An old friend, Wakana, fixed some one day, using a shake & bake deal. It was heavily breaded and I didn’t know what it was when she handed it to me. And then she told me. The look on my face. I was so pissed. But in all fairness, it was retribution for some extra hot chili I had given her a few weeks earlier. She was getting paybacks.

What immediately tells you that a person wasn’t raised right?

Manners. If they’re rude to other people for no reason, they’ve had no upbringing. There is nothing wrong with just simple courtesy and respect. If a person doesn’t have that, they’re not worth being around and probably can’t be trusted.

Is there a food you refuse to eat?

As I mentioned earlier, squid. I’m generally open-minded and will try anything once. Twice if he’s cute. So, I can’t think of anything right off the top of my head. Oh, wait. I’ve got it. I don’t do pickles, tomato slices, or sauerkraut. So there you go.

Who do you believe poses the greatest challenge to you and your goals?

Life and the major slaps in the face that it’s been continually handing me for the past few years. Wait. The question says, “Who?”. This sounds bad, but for a who, it’s my Mom. I love her dearly and she’s an amazing person, but she’s also one of the most negative people I know. It’s a constant fight to stay positive and move forward when she’s constantly playing the victim and focusing only on the what-ifs and negative side of things. I can’t even bring a friend home because she thinks they owe her and are there for what she wants. I think she has the best of intentions, but remember what paves the road to hell. I can’t be myself or accomplish anything without being ridiculed or criticized for it. If I want peace, I have to put on a mask and stay quiet. I can’t just leave because she’s my Mom and I love her. I don’t like her much at times, but I’m not going to abandon her either. Yeah, it’s a bitch sometimes. But the biggest challenge to doing what I want to do? There you go.

And there you go. Thanks for reading and sorry for unloading all of my inner angst to you like that. I thought about deleting that question and answer, but I don’t lie to my readers, even when I probably should. If I answer a question on this site, I answer truthfully. And yeah, sometimes a little too truthful. That’s life though. It’ll be okay. And I guess that’s all for now. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you in the funny pages.

Ubuntu!