Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #32
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Twitter is a crazy world full of many things. And that often includes the most random of questions. Well, I’m going to answer a few of them. I’m Doug and this is the Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s roll.

If you had to eat one sandwich every day for the next year, what sandwich are you choosing?

My first response was to say “a sub” and leave it at that, but that’s cheating. A sub can come in so many different varieties, all of which would count as different sandwiches, that it wouldn’t be a valid answer. So what would work? Let’s keep it simple. A hamburger.

How old were you the first time you did the deed?

By choice or by being taken advantage of? Let’s assume this question means willingly. For a lovely lass, it was age 14. And for her brother, it was also age 14. We were all very close friends.

Would you report an illegal immigrant to ICE for $100?

That’s a tough one to answer because the money isn’t important. If I know a person is here illegally, but they’re good people who work hard, are positive influences, and I like them for whatever reason, probably not. If they’re troublemakers, parasites, and add nothing to the world around them, they can kiss their ass goodbye and get shipped away. And that’s not just illegal aliens. I know some locals who were born and bred here that I’d like to see deleted as well.

What was your favorite 90s sitcom?

Was Married with Children from the 90s? I know Roseanne was, or at least part of it was airing in the 90s. Either of those works for me.

Should you tell someone if they have bad breath, or is it too personal and potentially embarrassing?

It depends on my relationship with the person. For someone I’m close to, I’d tell them or at least offer a piece of gum or a mint. For a stranger or someone I don’t well, I’d finish my interaction with them as quickly as possible and then move away. They’re on their own, stink-ass breath and all.

Is it better to teleport or read minds?

There are advantages to both, but if it’s controllable, I think the mind reading would be the most interesting. I’m good with body language and reading people as it is. Years of customer service and working with the public, plus paying attention, has its advantages. Knowing their thoughts would just be icing on the cake.

Democratic Representative Grace Meng has just proposed a constitutional amendment to lower the voting age in the United States to 16. Do you agree with this amendment?

If you’re not legally an adult until you’re 18, and can’t buy cigarettes or alcohol until you’re 21, why would you be voting at age 16? It’s a stupid idea and makes no sense. Most 16-year-olds are ignorant kids who need a boot up their ass. And this woman wants to trust them to vote? It would be a huge mistake. Do I agree? Not only no, but HELL NO!

What three words describe your family?

Fractured, broken, and through.

What famous artist, dead or alive, would you want to paint your portrait?

I think I answered this one a few weeks ago, but what the hell? I’ll do it again. And of course, the artist I would want would be that paragon of virtue, the one and only Hunter Biden. I hear he’s inexpensive these days. But of course, I kid. I’m not into hooker, cocaine, or selling my name for access to my relatives, plus I accept my responsibilities. So, Hunter and I would probably clash. So for a more surreal experience and portrait, I’d want the legendary Salvador Dali. M.C. Escher would be acceptable as well. I have a t-shirt with his art on it that a very awesome and amazing friend gave me years ago. Yes, I still have it. And it rocks!

Last person you argued with?

My Mom. She was complaining, as always, and I snapped. I semi-apologized later.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and questions are welcome and appreciated. I have to go wash some clothes now. I’ll see you later.

Ubuntu!