Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #43
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s do this.

If you could borrow one skill from a fictional character, what’s your choice?

Detective skills from the Batman. And maybe the blunt smoking ability of Jay & Silent Bob. Nah, I can’t stand the smell. Let’s stick with the Batman thing.

Would you rather fly or have super strength?

I don’t like high places and heights, so I’d have to go with the super strength. Give me the muscles!

What would be the most uncomfortable movie to watch with your parents?

ANY movie with Mom in the room is uncomfortable and hard to watch. She’ll find some way to blame something in the movie on Joe Biden or stop to ask questions that have absolutely nothing to do with the movie. I don’t watch movies or television with Mom in the room.

What is your favorite word in another language?

Two words. Sayanora Beelu… I’m not sure about the spelling, but that means “Goodbye beer” in Japanese. That used to be a statement we used quite often back in the days of playing quarters. Good times!

Name three people who you would invite to your dream dinner party (historic figures welcome).

Alice Cooper, Waylon Jennings, and Harley Race. If you know, you know.

Would you like to live or relive the 60s?

I was just a baby so I only know of the sixties from television, books, and people talking. But that being said, it was a simpler and better time. Yes, there were some rough moments going on, but for the most part, I think I would have liked it and fit in well. I’ve been spoiled by the advancements and conveniences of the modern era, but for short trips, vacations, and time-traveling to the sixties, I think I’d enjoy it and it’d be a nice, relaxing change. So, for short doses, I’d like to live and experience the sixties.

What makes women happy?

Money. And control. And power. And men who listen. And kittens.

What activity do you waste the most time on?

Playing on the computer. I come to the computer to work, but just one click at Facebook first… and X… and YouTube. Three hours later, I remembered why I was there in the first place, and then I had to go let the dog out. And pet the cat. And then, it’s back to Reels on FB. Yeah, that’s my life. How I manage to accomplish anything, I have no idea.

You wake up in a movie, but the plot revolves around your biggest fear. What’s the title?

The movie would be named after a classic song by Freddy Fender called, Wasted Days and Wasted Nights! Because I know that right now, I’m just going through the motions and if I don’t get my ass in gear and swallow my pride, it’s all a waste and I’ll always be alone.

If someone offered you 10 million dollars to give up watching sports for the rest of your life, would you do it?

Is wrestling counted as a sport? Nope, it’s sports entertainment. So I’m good. I don’t watch that other fake-ass stuff anyhow. Give me the money.

If you could have free meals for life at one fast food chain, which one would you choose?

This one is tough because, although I like fast food well enough, I get tired of it rather quickly, and while this would be a great deal for my cheap-ass self, I’d get tired of fast food after a while. But wait, I just realized something. Just because one place is free doesn’t mean I have to go there every night. My bad! So forget everything I just said. And let’s go get some chicken from KFC.

What’s the weirdest place you’ve woken up after a night of drinking?

At the Mans, in the bed with Wayne. And a few times, in a motel room, with a complete stranger. Yeah, I admit it. Back in my younger, hard-drinking days, I was a bit of a slut. It’s just a simple, honest truth. I’d drink heavily talk some shit to a guy, and then back up my words with action. I don’t bluff. I didn’t then and don’t now, but I’m a little more careful about the people I associate with. Yeah, that sneaking out in the early hours before they woke up and taking that walk of shame. Sad, but it happened a few times.

Do you prefer social time or alone time?

It depends on my mood and the people involved. I relish in my alone time and solitude, but I’ve done it so much lately, that I’m scared I’ve driven all my friends away and don’t have anyone to be social with anymore. If it involves my Bro and the family, I want some social time. If it involves Eric, Theresa, Larry & Tab, Bryan, Michael, etc., I want some social time. I just want the small doses to start and then build to something longer as we go. I’m out of practice right now.

Is there a fate worse than death?

Being a liberal, woken, Democrat and thinking Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, and that crew is the answer. I’d rather call it a day than be that deluded and brain-damaged. Also, if there ever comes a time when I can’t take care of myself and have to rely on others for the simplest of tasks, I’d rather not be alive for that either.

If you had an unlimited budget, what’s the first thing you would buy?

After paying off old debt and making sure my Mom and my bro-son are set, I’d buy a small radio station. I want to have my own version of WKRP but with a Dougie twist. To hell with making a profit, but instead, it’s about music, bringing friends together as the staff and personalities, and having a damn good time. WDUG in Laurinburg. It would be awesome and totally rock!

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up shop for today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the Kwik Stop.

Ubuntu!