Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #48
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s do this.

What’s your biggest insecurity?

These days, I have so many that it’s hard to just pick and choose one. I guess it’s talking to and dealing with people. Online, it’s not a problem. On the phone, anxiety is wild but tolerable. And in person? I’d rather take a bullet to the head than deal with most people face-to-face. I can fake it most of the time, but my nerves will be on edge from the start to the finish of the encounter.

Given the power, what holiday would you create?

That is simple. On February 4th, it would be a Federal holiday. No school, no mail, no banks, etc. It would be a day of love, peace, and the recognition of one of the greatest showmen of all time. It’s Alice Cooper’s birthday, of course.

What event changed your perspective on life?

Losing my leg and having to quit work. Once I lost it all, I realized just how much I thought was important, yet never truly was. I became an island to myself and very few people are welcome anymore. I love my bro, and a few certain friends who are more family than friends, my dude, and their love and loyalty are beyond all doubt. And those who were only here when I could help them, taking advantage, I don’t need them. I lost what mattered most to me in many ways. I am still clinging desperately to a few other things. It took losing a limb and losing my sense of pride for that to happen.

Travel back in time, or travel to the future?

I’d go back in time. The future is better left unknown.

What is your least favorite holiday?

Christmas. It used to be about family and togetherness, but most of the family is gone now. Ma doesn’t celebrate Christmas and gets all weird when we want to, and I don’t have a reason to celebrate or care anymore. What’s the point when you’re all alone?

Besides looks, what else makes a person attractive?

A personality, a sense of humor, self-respect, pride, sexy eyes, and a great ass.

Do you remember when Coke came in glass bottles? Did it taste better back then?

Glass always tastes better than plastic, be it Coke, or anything else.

Would you let your significant other do OnlyFans if it meant quick cash?

Hell, I’ve been thinking about doing OnlyFans myself so I can’t judge. I’m sure there’s an audience out there for one-legged, fat, homo-rednecks. It’s a thought. And so far as my SO goes, he’s sexy enough and I can see him drawing a good audience. I’d be jealous and wouldn’t like it, but he’s an adult and if I trust him, which I do, it wouldn’t be my place to judge him or get mad if that’s what he wanted to do.

Without mentioning coconut, what defines Fiji?

Superfly Jimmy Snuka. ‘Nuff said!

Have you ever re-gifted a present?

Only myself to some special guys. The gift that keeps on giving lol.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up shop for today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the spot.

Ubuntu!