Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #51
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s do this.

Do pickles belong on pizza or not?

Pickles are nasty and vile and don’t belong anywhere, be it on pizza, on a burger, or with any other food. Pickles should be banned forever.

Would you rather follow the instructions on how to do something or try without instructions?

It depends on what it is that I’m trying to do. Usually, I will read the instructions to get the general idea and take it from there. Instructions are there for a reason.

What childhood show would you like to see rebooted?

A show from my childhood that I’d like to see rebooted. I was a child of the 70s, so most of the shows that I liked and grew up on wouldn’t be allowed now. The ’70s were not the most PC era of television, lol. I want to see a reboot of All in the Family. Stephie, Edith’s niece, moves into the old Bunker house, and her housemate is Gloria and Mike’s son, a very conservative Joey. Guest cameos by Mike & Gloria, and Joey’s BFF can be Lionel Jefferson’s son. It would be controversial, but it would be fun to see.

What is the strangest food combination you enjoy?

When I was a kid, I liked peanut butter and bologna sandwiches. Yeah, I know. That sounds disgusting, and it’s been at least 40 years since I’ve had that combination on a sandwich, but it was good then.

Be good with animals or good with children?

Animals, for sure. Animals are cool. Children? I actually like kids, but then they grow up, become teenagers, and then adults. They start cool as babies and then tend to suck! Yeah, animals are much better.

If you could afford any car, which one would you drive?

A 1972 VW Volkswagen Convertible. And maybe a Silverado Truck. Nothing fancy, but it’s just reliable and cool.

Who is your favorite Disney character?

Since Disney owns everything, all the characters of Marvel Comics are technically Disney characters, as are the characters from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. But, for the sake of this question, I’ll stay with the classic characters created by Disney. And the answer is, from the movie Bambi, I say Thumper. I had his picture tattooed on my leg. He’s a cool bunny.

Are E-Books superior to physical books, or do they lack the charm and sensory experience of reading?

E-Books and Kindle are okay, but nothing beats the feel and smell of a real, hardback book. It’s just a whole different feeling and presentation and so much better than the other options.

What is the most beautiful sound in this world?

Real laughter from a child, baby, or anyone. If it’s the real deal and true happiness at the moment is being given sound, it’s the best sound in the world. Real laughs are amazing.

What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

A day of writing all morning, cuddling with my cat for a bit, and then spending the evening in the company of a certain dude with many Uber hugs being offered and enjoyed.

What was the first concert you attended?

When I was 14, I went with my Mom and stepdad to see Charlie Rich and Willie Nelson. It was a great show by two of country music’s very best.

What’s the worst response to a cop asking, “Do you know why I pulled you over?”

Any response where you admit to anything or confirm a reason would be bad. Never talk to the police and never admit to anything. NEVER!

Be honest. Would you rather go to a Super Bowl Party with people who don’t watch football or watch at home by yourself?

Why would I want to go to a Super Bowl party? I don’t care about football or the Super Bowl, and I sure as hell wouldn’t go to any Super Bowl party. So, to answer this question, I’d go to a party with others who don’t watch football, and we could have a real party of beer, bonfires, and chillaxin’. Damn that football stuff.

Who is one band or artist you feel is completely underrated?

Dr. Hook. So many hits and so many great shows, and they’re treated as afterthoughts by most fans and the music industry. Why aren’t they in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame? Dr. Hook is an amazing band. They deserve so much better.

Describe yourself in one word.

Unwell.

How old were you when you shot your first gun?

A BB Gun, I think I was five or six years old. And so far as a real gun goes, I was 11 or 12 years old. My stepdad made sure that I was taught how to shoot and responsibly use a gun and taught me how to shoot.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up shop for today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the Love Shack.

Ubuntu!