Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #55
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s do this.

How do you handle a family tragedy?

I tuck away my feelings and emotions, grit my teeth, and get serious to care for whatever needs to be done. I go into business mode and handle shit! It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

If you were to write a book, what would be the title, and what would it be about?

It would be called Tossing Salt (duh!) and would be just random, about this, that, and everything else. Think Andy Rooney, but with less bushy eyebrows and a slightly darker sense of humor. It would be random Dougieness at its best/worst.

Would you rather communicate telepathically or know every single language on the planet?

All of those languages? I think my mind would explode. Let’s stick with the telepathy. Being able to communicate via thoughts and read the occasional mind would be the preferable gift of the two.

What is the greatest TV show ever?

Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. Mr. Rogers was the ultimate badass of all time, and he did it while wearing slippers and a sweater while playing with puppets. It doesn’t get any better than that.

Captain America tells you to draft a team of Avengers for an expansion team in Europe. Seven members. Who are you recruiting?

I’d have The Black Widow as the Chairman and leader of the group. As for the rest of the group, I’d want a good mix of stealth, power, and the ability to adapt well to the European culture. Hercules, Dr. Druid, The Black Knight, Quasar, Hellcat, and Mantis.

Do Black Olives belong on pizza?

Black olives are nasty and belong nowhere but in the trash can.

Is Zelensky a fraud?

His term as President of Ukraine expired nearly a year ago, but he refuses to hold elections. He continues to ask for financial aid, but billions of dollars are unaccountable. If he was in the United States, he’d have a huge “D” next to his name. Yeah, he’s a criminal and a total fraud.

Hugs or kisses?

It depends on who the hugger or kisser is, but as of right now, I prefer major squeeze Uber-hugs.

What is something that overwhelms you?

The pressures of life and having to depend on so many others for the simplest of things. Anxiety is a total bitch.

What do people need most from therapists?

How the hell would I know? Both times that I tried going to therapy for anything, the therapist was totally condescending and then bailed after one meeting. It was a total waste of time. But if I can be serious for a moment, a good therapist is there to listen, but not judge. Sometimes, that’s all a person really needs.

Would you rather go back to the 70s and see Billy Joel or David Bowie?

Billy Joel is amazing, but most of his most memorable hits that I know of were in the 80s. So if we go back to the ’70s, we’d miss his best stuff. Bowie was amazing in the 70s, 80s, 90s, and right up until he passed away. Bowie is forever. I’d go see Bowie.

How often do you wash your sheets?

My sheets rarely have time to get dirty since I usually sleep on top of my main cover, wrapped up like a burrito. I rarely even touch my sheets. Despite that, I wash my sheets, blankets, pillows, etc., at least once a week.

Does President Trump belong on Mt Rushmore?

No, he doesn’t. Mt. Rushmore is fine as it is. Let Presidents Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt, and Lincoln, have their place in the sun. If there is eventually a monument of some sort to honor President Trump, a Presidential Library or smaller venue, like the Lincoln Memorial, would be more appropriate.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the drive-thru.

Ubuntu!