Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #56
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s do this.

Would you spend a full night inside a haunted house if someone paid you?

Look who you’re asking. I’d be the first one to spend the night and explore, being paid or not. Forget about ghosts or boogeymen. It’d be Dougie haunting the house and any supernatural critters could stay the hell out of my way. I would love to do something like that.

What do you want on your tombstone?

For a good time, call… I don’t know. Probably my name, birth date, date of passing, and some wise-ass quote that allegedly defines me. Maybe friend, brother, writer, cat daddy? I’ll get back to you on this one.

Who would you pick to perform at Super Bowl LX in 2026 if you had the decision-making power?

Alice would be my first choice, but I doubt he’d want the aggravation. But I would want a real rock star or country star that matters to me. It’s not my fault everyone is getting old. Let’s go with Kid Rock, being backed up by Alice, Hank Jr., Yelawolf, and Struggle Jennings. They could work out the details, but everyone gets a moment to shine and they blow the lid off that stadium.

What do you do when you can’t sleep?

I do exactly what I’m doing right now. I sit at my computer and either provide content for the site, watch videos on YouTube, or read.

If you could choose, would you want a regular vehicle or an electric vehicle?

I’m the guy who constantly forgets to charge his phone and is always running at 20%. Can you imagine how I’d do with an electric car? Besides, think about the light bill. It’s high enough already. I’ll still with a regular car, preferably my little Ford Ranger pickup.

Are you going to watch the Buffy revival show?

The revival of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Hell yes, I’m watching. As soon as Sarah Michelle Geller was announced as being involved, I was all in for this. I’m rewatching the original series, again, right now on Tubi. It was a damn good show, and I do not doubt that the reboot will be good as well.

Seafood. Are you a fan?

I like the little popcorn shrimp sometimes, but for the most part, I don’t do fish. I worked two years at a fish house when I was a teenager, Jimmy’s Seafood, and then all of those Fish Fridays at Nic’s Pic Kwik. I hate that damn smell.No, I am not a fan.

What’s your favorite possession?

Would a cat count as a possession? And is he mine, or am I his? It doesn’t matter. My damn cat, Mouthie. He is annoying… and loud, but he’s my baby.

Do you prefer Salisbury steak or a hamburger?

Salisbury steak is okay, but give me the hamburger every time. The steak stuff is too damn messy.

Do you think people are generally good or generally bad?

Most people are good. Unfortunately, it’s the bad ones that create the headaches and get all the attention. They ruin things for the good folks and put a damper on the whole species.

What is the best Disney song of all time?

Remember that Disney bought out Fox and thus, this is a Disney song. Are you ready to do the Time Warp again?

What comes to mind when you see Tom Hanks?

Two things. The sitcom Bosom Buddies, where Hanks played a guy pretending to be a woman, and his most recent comments and antics on social media during the election. He’s not a fan of our President and was a huge advocate of Biden/Harris. I lost a lot of respect for him as a person due to his comments during the elections.

Have you ever had a crush on a coworker?

Yes, but I was too shy and too professional to act on it in the workplace. Booty calls at work are for customers, not coworkers. But now, after the fact, I’m thinking about missed opportunities. I would have rocked their world. Hell, I still would. If Little Eric or Daniel S. sees this, call me. Better late than never and I promise, you will not regret it.

Do women ever apologize?

Very rarely, but why should they? They’re rarely wrong. I spent ten years working in a store with all women. I learned quickly to nod and agree. And the training has held.

Have you ever lied for a friend?

Maybe once or twice. I prefer not to lie, but not saying anything or leaving out information isn’t lying, right? It depends on the situation and the friend, but I’d prefer not to have to.

Does Pete Rose belong in the Hall Of Fame?

Yes, he does.

What’s the most childish thing you still do?

I could fill up a book with this one, but I’ll only reveal one. I regularly cut wrestling promos on my cat and the dog. I also regularly sing to them, but the wrestling promos are the most fun part. I’ll channel my inner Nature Boy or Boogie Woogie Man, and they’ll just listen, looking at me like I’m a stupid idiot. It’s hilarious.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the drive-thru.

Ubuntu!