Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #71
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s do this.

What’s the first thing to come to your mind when you hear the name Jasmine Crockett?

Race-baiting piece of ghetto trash.

If you could have lunch with anyone in the world, who would it be?

Alice Cooper, of course, along with Kevin Smith, and Paul Heyman. The greatest rock & roll entertainer of all time, my favorite writer/director of all time, and one of professional wrestling’s most creative minds. What a learning tree and experience that lunch would be.

What’s the best way to deal with rude behavior?

Just ignore the rudeness and be overly nice, almost to the point of being condescending. It really makes the rude ass Karen’s and Chad’s even more mad. And if that doesn’t work, punch them in the face.

If God turned you into a pet, would you want to be a dog or a cat and why?

A cat. It’d be nice to be the boss of the house for a change.

If you were starring in a movie, would you be the hero or the villain?

I can’t see myself as the hero, I’m not a true villain type either. I guess I’d be the bad guy turned reluctant hero. Yeah, that makes sense to me.

True or false. Jif is better than Skippy?

It’s the choice of Choosy mothers everywhere. I prefer Jif as well. So, that would be true.

Which wrestler reminds you of the Kingpin?

If you go by the Ben Affleck Daredevil movie, where the Kingpin was a black man, then AEW star Bobby Lashley is the first name that comes to mind. And if we go by the traditional version and look for The Kingpin, how about the late, great King Kong Bundy?

If animals could speak for a day, which animal would have the most interesting stories to tell?

The fish would say, “I swam in a circle!”. The dog would say, “I’m hungry. I love you! Is that a ball? Have you got a treat? Who’s a good boy? Me, right?”. And a cat? “Serve me, human!”. I think I’d go with the cat.

If you won the lottery, would you share your money with anyone?

After making sure my Mom is taken care of, I would make sure to look after my bro-son and the family before anyone or anything else. And my dude. The people I love the most would all be well taken care of to the best of my ability.

Would you rather have a beach house or a mountain cabin?

I’d hate the crowds and the potential hurricanes, but I think the beach house would be the most enjoyable and fun.

If you could spend a year anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

Part of me wants to head back to Wilmington, NC, where I lived back in 1996-97 and had some of the best times of my life, but Wilmington has changed and so have I from those epic days. I’ve always been fascinated with Europe, but I’m not sure if I could handle a year there. Let’s keep it simple. South Point, Ohio, living in my Grandma’s old home. Yeah, that works for me. And I’m taking Kenneth, Anna, Julez, Kayden, and Eric with me. They’d love it and it would be a great experience for all of us.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you in the Real World.

Ubuntu!