Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #82
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s do this.

Would you rather see The Beatles rooftop concert performed live or witness Jimi Hendrix’s legendary performance at Woodstock?

I would love to see the Beatles, but the idea of Woodstock gives me goosebumps. I think I’d pick the latter.

What’s the best outdoor concert that you’ve ever attended?

For the company and spectacle, it would be Operation Rock & Roll, featuring Alice Cooper, Judas Priest, Metal Church, Savatage, Dangerous Toys & Motorhead, in Raleigh, NC. And for the music and show itself, Reba McEntire in Charlotte, NC.

Is there anything that you are afraid to lose?

My sanity, my patience, my bro & the family, and Eric.

What’s a relationship deal breaker for you?

If a person lies to me or steals from me, that’s it. Anything else can be forgiven, but dishonesty can not.

What made-up place would you like to live in?

After much thought and contemplation, I’d say the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, but after the fall of Voldemort. I wouldn’t do well in the war and would probably end up dead, but afterward, I could do all right. I’d be a kickass Wizard.

Would you rather your life be a TV show or find out aliens control us?

Let’s blame it on being a TV show. Damn, I need some better writers.

Do you like audiobooks?

They’re okay, but nothing beats a good old-fashioned real book. It has a smell and feel all it’s own that can’t be duplicated anywhere.

Shopping online or shopping in-store?

I prefer to shop in the store, but I can’t physically do it anymore. Between my physical ailments and my anxiety, it’s too much of an ordeal and trying experience. If I need anything now, I’ll either have it delivered or use the curbside pickup.

Have you ever pretended to like someone’s cooking? What was it?

I’m sure that I have, but I can’t remember any specific time or situation. If I didn’t think I’d like the food, I’d pass by saying that I already have eaten or have something waiting for me at the house. I had a good idea of which friends were good cooks and which ones weren’t.

You’re offered one hundred million dollars to go grocery shopping butt naked at your regular supermarket. Would you do it?

Get ready for a show because I’m getting nekkid. Hell yeah, get that money ready, and let’s go shopping.

Who’s the most famous musician you’ve met outside of a concert venue?

Bucky and Rocky Covington. Before they were famous, the brothers used to regularly come into the store I worked at here in Laurinburg. I saw and spoke to them both quite regularly.

Maxine Waters says she’s Pregnant and you are the Father. What do you do?

I’d thank the Lord for being gay and knowing that’s a damn lie. Besides, Maxine is 86 years old, plus as ugly as the Democrats are crooked. They could use her face to make Gorilla cookies. I would simply call her a lying bitch, tell her to eat rocks, and kiss my fat, white, homo ass!

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you in math class.

Ubuntu!