Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #86
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide a few of the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s do this.

If you could recommend one B&W movie to a person who dislikes them, what would it be?

The James Dean classic, East of Eden. It was Dean’s first movie, co-starring Julie Harris. It’s a great movie and I would recommend it to everyone to see at least once.

If you had a talk show, who would be your first guest?

Easy answer, Alice Cooper. And if by some chance, Alice wasn’t available, I’d ask comedian Brad Williams to do the honors.

Would you rather be feared or loved?

Being feared serves no purpose and I’m far too nice a guy to be scary or imposing unless I’m pissed off. Being loved is cool. Let’s go with that.

What does “crashing out” mean to you?

To me, it means taking a break and having a rest. What else could it possibly mean?

It’s 1972, Alice Cooper and Waylon Jennings come to town playing on opposite ends of town. Who are you seeing?

It’s a tough call, but in 72, I was six years old and hadn’t discovered the magic of Waylon yet. I already knew who Alice was, although I just thought he was a cool dude and I liked the music. I wasn’t fully immersed in the magic of Alice Cooper yet, but I was on my way. I’d go see Alice.

Would you rather be a heartbreaker or have your heart broken?

I’ll have my heart broken. I’m used to it, and I don’t want to ever be responsible for hurting anyone else. That’s not how Dougie rolls.

What do you miss the most about your teenage years?

I had friends to be with, talk with, hang out with, and play with. It was a carefree time and I was happy then. Now, not so much.

When was the last time you got angry?

A few days ago, Mom said something totally stupid and I just exploded on her. And I said many things that I shouldn’t have and was physically shaking. Things have been building up and I just exploded in anger. I apologized later. It was a long time coming though.

What was the most memorable school trip that you went on?

When I was in second or maybe third grade, my class went to the Museum of Life and Science in Durham, NC. Dinosaur eggs, skeletons, life-sized statues of dinosaurs, and just so much cool stuff. And they had a python on display named George. It was an awesome experience.

What’s your “comfort movie”?

Any movie by Kevin Smith (Clerks, Chasing Amy, Jay & Silent Bob, Dogma) works. Dick & fart jokes are awesome, as are Jay & Silent Bob.

Do you care if someone forgets your birthday?

At this point, I do well to remember it myself. It’s just another day on the calendar. If I can’t remember it, why should I care if anyone else does?

Would you rather eat 100 hotdogs or 100 pieces of fried chicken?

Hot dogs cause gas and burping, plus they make me feel bloated. I love me some fried chicken though. Let’s go to KFC and munch.

Which song do you jam to when you need to cheer up?

I can usually throw on some Dr. Hook and my mood will improve. Not really any specific song, but just the energy and magical flow from the band and their music works. And I love this video. It always makes me smile.

Which canceled show do you wish would come back?

I don’t watch television so what shows are and aren’t on doesn’t matter all that much to me. How about a reboot of Hee Haw? Use modern-day comics and country music stars, but stick to the original format for the new show, making it as close to the original as possible, but with a 2025 twist. It would work and be a major hit.

Can you be friends with someone selfish?

I have in the past and I can. That’s part of the person, but it’s not the entire person, only a portion. If there is more to the person than that, and it’s good and favorable, the bad parts can be overlooked at times or handled as needed. We all have bad habits and are less than perfect. Look at the entire picture rather than just the various parts and decide accordingly from there.

What is the best thing to eat covered in chocolate?

Strawberries, bananas, and nuts.

What is something that is considered socially acceptable that you find ridiculously annoying?

Smoking grass. How can people walk around smelling of cheap weed, and act like it’s okay? It straight out stinks! I can’t stand the smell and it makes me physically ill. It’s also still illegal here in NC. But people walk around, reeking, and think they’re so cool. And no one seems to care. Well, I care and they’re disrespectful assclowns.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the building in K-Mak’s backyard.

Ubuntu!