Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #90
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s do this.

You just won 25 million dollars and your best friend says, “We’re rich!”. What would be your response?

My best friend and brother, K-Mak says that, and I would say, “You’re damn right!” He and the family would never want for anything ever again.

Describe yourself in three bands.

A little Alice, a little Waylon, and a lot of Dr. Hook thrown in for good measure.

What animal terrified/terrified you the most?

Spider Crickets. I can’t explain why. I know they’re harmless, but those little bastards creep me out big time for some reason. I hate those things.

What is the best name that you can think of for a dog?

I remember our neighbors had a black Lab named Cat. I always thought that was kind of cool.

How do you think your life has changed since COVID-19?

I’ve been sick. I’ve gotten more distrustful of people than ever, and I’ve been more isolated over the past few years than ever. It’s not all Covid’s fault, but hell, I’ve got to blame it on something.

What is the one thing about the future that scares you the most?

Unless something drastically changes, I’m going to be alone the rest of my life, with no friends, no family, no anything. I hate being alone, but my anxiety and some outside forces won’t allow me to change what needs to be changed. I’m fucked!

When was the last time you were engaged in a very awkward conversation?

Given my anxiety and other issues, every conversation is awkward. Generally, though, I can fake it and get through. The last really bad one was an argument I had with Mom a few weeks ago. I called her out on a hypocritical comment and it went downhill from there. It got pretty bad.

Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings?

Lord of the Rings is a boring ass movie about walking. Lots and lots of walking. Harry Potter is much better, both in the books and the movies.

What is the biggest threat to Earth?

Humans. For the alleged most intelligent and superior life on this planet, humanity is full of dumbasses in so many ways. When Earth dies, it’ll be stupidity by a human that destroys it. Believe that!

If you could learn to play any instrument overnight, which one would it be and why?

The piano. As for why, I’ve just always liked the piano. What more reason would I need?

On a scale of 1-10, how funny would you say you are?

I have a dry and dark sense of humor that most would find awkward and kind of disturbing. I’d say I’m more smart-ass than funny. I’ll go with a seven.

You just won $20 million, and your parents ask you for half, what would you say?

I wouldn’t do half, but I would set up a trust where my Mom, my only living parent, would be set for life and not have any financial worries. I think that would be more than fair.

Describe Cory Booker in three words or less.

Hypocritical, fake-ass, goof!

You come across a magic notebook that, whatever you write in it, will become reality. What’s the first thing you write?

I would write about my health being restored, my youth and vitality being restored, and Eric coming home to reap the benefits of a younger, healthy man who loves him.

What soap operas did you watch as a teenager?

I watched General Hospital faithfully all through the Luke & Laura era and my teen years. I also watched All My Children and The Young & The Restless on occasion. And so far as prime-time soaps went, I was a diehard fan of Dallas!

What is the best name that you can think of for a cat?

If the name Cat worked for a dog, as I mentioned earlier, then the cat should be named Dog. I generally tend to let the cats choose their own names, based on their actions, personalities, and behavior. Nobody truly names a cat. We just think we do.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the bus stop.

Ubuntu!