Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #91
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s do this.

What made you realize that you’re not young anymore?

The whole body doing an impression of Rice Krispies was an early sign. Losing my energy and patience for people followed, and finally, my preference for solitude capped things off.

If a woman asks a man out on a date, who pays?

If the woman asks, then either she should pay or they should split the bill. The asker is the one who pays.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear about “free healthcare”?

The first thing is an old truth that nothing is free. It may be free in some ways, but there is always a cost and price to pay.

Name something a Democrat does better than a Republican.

Justify spending other people’s money on wasteful ideas and stupid stuff.

Other than you, who can unlock your phone?

My bro, K-Mak can unlock it. I’m sure that his mini-me could figure it out rather easily as well. He’s smart like that. But apart from myself, those would be the only two.

French Toast for breakfast, or do you prefer pancakes?

Both are okay and I won’t complain, but if given a choice, and someone else is cooking, I’d rather have the pancakes.

Should military service be mandatory?

Once a person graduates high school, it should be mandatory to either go to college or do at least one year of military service or some kind of civil service. It would make a major difference in our world and teach people respect, useful skills, and responsibility. All of the things that are lacking in our world today could be resolved and made better with something so simple.

You come home and everyone you’ve ever dated is sitting on your front porch. Reply with just three words?

Is it actual dating or are we including hook-ups, one-night-stands, booty calls, and bromances too? It really doesn’t matter because I get along well with the huge majority of my intimate encounters, even after the fact. So, three words? What’s going on?

How do you motivate yourself to get out of bed?

I usually have to pee. And rather than mess up my bed and lay in a wet spot, I put on my leg and get out of bed.

Are you afraid of the dark or the unknown?

I am very comfortable in the dark. The unknown? I’m not too good at that. I prefer a routine and knowing what is going on.

Have you ever tried Catfish? Was it good or gross?

I tried this when I worked at Nic’s, and it was okay. Nothing special or great, but just okay. I’m not a seafood guy anyhow, but they were new for us, so I gave it a try. My cat at the time, Stinky, loved them.

Are you friends with any of your exes?

I am cordial and on friendly terms with probably 85% of the people I’ve been involved with in some capacity. I’m not really close friends, as in talking daily, with any of them, but I’m currently not that way with anyone. But there are several that if I reached out and gave them a call, they would respond and be here for me.

What brand of beer was your first beer?

My first legal beer was a Heineken. That was some nasty ass beer. But my first actual beer was either a Pabst Blue Ribbon or a Milwaukee’s Best. I can’t remember for sure.

If you were the last person on earth, what is the first thing you would do?

Try to find food, water, and shelter, and then hunt for other survivors.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the bus stop.

Ubuntu!