Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #92
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s do this.

Do men ever apologize?

Supposing they’re wrong, absolutely. And if they’re right, but want peace and quiet, yes to that as well, regardless. It doesn’t matter. Men are not allowed to be right. And no matter what happens, it’s our fault. If you don’t believe me, ask any woman and they’ll tell you. Men must always apologize. rolls eyes

If someone offered you 10 million dollars to give up listening to music for the rest of your life, would you do it?

Nope. That’s one deal I wouldn’t be able to keep. Music is too important. To give up music, I’d rather just be dead.

Which year destroyed your mental health?

In this family, with this life, all of them. The past five have really been bad, but every year of my existence has played a role in destroying my mind and sanity.

Who do you wish would release an album, right now?

Alice just released a new album this past August, so it’s too soon for him. There is a new album of previously unreleased material for Waylon due for release in June so that rules out him as well. Steve Grand is currently working on new music so he’s already covered. This is hard. Let’s go with Hank Williams Jr. I could use some tunes from Bocephus and his rowdy friends right now.

If you had the chance to f*ck one celebrity (now or in their prime), who would you pick?

My pass for any relationship has always been either Lisa Moretti, aka Ivory, or Juventud Guerrera, but ANY celebrity? I’d have to say, James Dean.

Who’s your favorite fictional character of all time?

This one is tough? What perimeters do I use to make my choice? Do I use the cool factor, relatability, their appearance, their life, or what? And are they fiction if they’re based on a real person, but still made up? Hell, I can’t decide. I’ll say, Batman. When in doubt, always say Batman.

What is your weirdest habit when you are stressed?

I write and answer questions. Lots and lots of random questions.

What has been the best benefit of growing older?

I can buy liquor, I don’t have a curfew, and I’m allowed to have sex.

What is your most expensive hobby?

Eating. Have you been to the grocery store recently? Have you seen those prices? They’re crazy and outrageous. I don’t have to try and lose weight. I just can’t afford groceries.

Where did you go on your last vacation?

I can’t even remember the last vacation that I’ve taken. If I do manage to get away from the house, I go to the local motel, Pine Acres, and get a room for the night. That’s as near to a vacation as I ever get.

If you’re 49 do you date an 18 year old or is that weird?

I’m 58 and the guy I’ve fallen in love with is 34 years old, so what do I know? It’s not weird to me.

When was the last time you met with your best friend?

A few months ago. Far too damn long. We text every so often, but we’re each having our issues right now and well, shit happens. I miss that damn dude so much and want to just chill for a little bit, even if it’s just sitting in silence and riding out. Without my brother in my world, I’m not complete or whole. And right now, I’ve fucked up my relationships with both my bro and the guy I’m in love with. I’m a fucking idiot!

If you could drop everything and just go, would your destination be a place or a person?

A place, over by Carolina Park, to see my bro for a while, and then, after that, a person, E-Rock, and our spot to spend some time reuniting and making up for lost time.

If our world was ending, how would you spend the last week of your life?

With my bro, the family, my dude, and listening to music, being together, and just chillaxing.

What was discontinued, but you miss like hell and want to come back?

The Dollar Tree brand of Jalapeno Bean Dip. That stuff was damn good.

Is $100,000 per year enough for a family of four to live comfortably in the United States?

More than enough if they have common sense and don’t act stupidly. And if they live here in the South, they’re rich with that much money.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the library.

Ubuntu!