Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #98
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s do this.

What classic rock station did you grow up listening to?

WQSM – Q-98, from Fayetteville, North Carolina.

Have you ever hand-written a letter to someone?

I have to laugh at this question because there was a time when I was the ultimate letter writer, by hand, to everyone. Several letters a week to my friend, Theresa, plus letters to Chris, Kever, my sister Lynn, Grandma, and so many others. I would easily go through a book of stamps a week, if not sooner. Good times and good memories.

What is preventing you from moving to France?

I don’t speak French, I don’t have a passport, I don’t have the money to afford such a move, and mainly, I don’t want to. Take your pick of the reasons, for they’re all true.

If you saw a ‘trans woman’ follow your daughter into the bathroom, what would you do?

I don’t have a daughter, but there are several very special women in my life, such as my friend Theresa, my bro’s wife and daughters, my former co-workers from Dairy Mart, The ABC, and Nics, and a few others. And if a man dressed as a woman followed ANY of them into the bathroom, there would be issues and they would be carried out moments later. No questions asked.

How many Beers did you drink this weekend?

None. I haven’t drunk any alcohol in several months. I’m ready for a good weekend and a drinking binge with some friends though. Is anyone up for it?

Which TV show do you watch when you feel down and need a laugh?

Family Guy is always good, as is The Big Bang Theory.

Will you be getting a REAL ID?

I already have a valid NC Driver’s License. Why would I need anything else? I’m covered.

What was the event in your life that woke you up?

There have been many things over the years that have opened my eyes, be it being lied to by people I trust, stolen from, being fired from jobs that I loved for the actions of others, being used so many times, but the biggest event? Losing my leg, and thus being forced to lose my job, everyone and everything changed. I wasn’t useful anymore and my friends scattered like roaches under the kitchen light. The true colors showed and every relationship I’ve ever had was called into doubt. When they can’t use you or get something from you, they bail pretty fast.

What is the BEST excuse to get out of doing something?

I simply say that no, I don’t want to do it. Usually, that works quite well.

What is the best way to make someone understand anything?

Explain it to them as if talking to an eight-year-old. That tends to work quite well.

What would be the worst name you could give to your child?

If it’s a boy, Adolph, Rufus, or Poindexter would all be bad choices. And for a girl, Shaniqua, Myrtle, or Maude would all be bad choices.

Are you the kind of person who checks in hours early for a flight?

I arrive early for everything. In my mind, if I’m on time, I’m late. I won’t be late.

Is it appropriate to pinch your girlfriend’s ass in public?

I don’t have a girlfriend. I prefer the men. And no, it’s not really appropriate to pinch or slap their ass in public, but who cares if it’s appropriate or not? It’s fun and a sign of affection, and that’s what matters the most.

Do you hold the door open for the person behind you regardless of their sex, age, color, or religion?

Every time, yes. I was brought up to have manners and be respectful.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the car lot.

Ubuntu!