Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #108
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. It’s number 108. Let’s do this.

Have you ever lied about your age?

Maybe, but not intentionally. If someone guesses my age and it’s wrong, but younger than I actually am, I’ll just agree with them. Most of my friends are far younger than I am, but I don’t want to look like the old perv who refuses to grow up, so I’ll just let everyone assume that I’m in the same age group as they are. If asked directly, I’ll tell the truth, but I’d rather just let everyone make their own assumptions.

Boxers or briefs?

Briefs, or more specifically, boxer-briefs.

If you were stuck on a deserted island and had to choose a family member to be stuck with, who would you choose?

My bro-son, and BFF, the infamous one, K-Mak. We’re not blood, but we’re family, and I can think of no one else I’d rather be stranded on an island with.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

98% of the time, it’s only lust. But love at first sight does exist and is real. Damn you, Eric!

Who would you be if you had to be a character from a book?

I wouldn’t want to be a main character or the star of the book. I’d rather be a background character who observes and sees all, but isn’t the main focus of the story. Hell, let’s go with Percy Weasley from the Harry Potter series.

If you could have any talent, what would you choose?

I wish I could legitimately sing and had that killer, unique, rock-balled voice that we all dream of.

What’s the last thing that made you cry?

I was looking at some pictures from not quite a year ago and started missing someone. And yeah, I was crying.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?

I worked at a store called Servco here in Laurinburg for a year and 1/2. The job was okay, but the manager was a first-class bitch. She would change the schedule without notice, refused to speak to us employees unless necessary, would constantly threaten to fire us or write us up for practically anything, and all of that was her best points and behavior. Her name was Lib Dunn. I’ve had bad managers before, but she was the absolute worst. She hated her job and her life, and was determined to make all of us as miserable as she was.

Why don’t marriages last like in our grandparents’ generation?

In the olden days, till death do us part, was an honest and sincere vow. And now, marriage is just an afterthought that means nothing. Rather than work together through the rough patches, people today just throw away what they have and move on to the next “true love”. Sad, but true.

What is the worst smell in the world, in your opinion?

Rotting flesh or death. If you’ve ever smelled either one, you’ll know exactly what I mean. It’s a smell that is distinct and you’ll never be able to forget.

What’s a subtle sign that someone has been through a lot of stuff in life?

Being untrusting or cautious of other people, unable or unwilling to get close to others, or letting others inside their walls. Once you’ve been hurt by someone you trusted, it’s hard to open up and trust again.

Hardest addiction to kick?

Being in love with someone. If you’re trying to kick drugs or booze, you can go to meetings, and there are support groups. But to give up on someone you love, there is no support group or meeting for that. It’s just deal with it, move on, and hopefully the pain will lessen in time.

Have you ever hooked up with a close friend’s ex?

Just a hook-up? Yeah, sure. Serious dating of a friend’s ex is a big no-no, but if they are an ex and there is no chance of them and your friend getting back together, a quick little fling isn’t that bad. It’s not the best thing to do, but it happens.

If you could have any superpowers, what would you choose?

Limited telepathy and mind control. Or maybe Magic. Yeah, a Harry Potter type of skill set, but without all the seven years at Hogwarts and snake-faced baddies trying to kill me.

After you’ve dropped a piece of food, what’s the longest time you’ve left it on the floor before eating it?

I believe in the 5-second rule, but sometimes, it has gone as long as ten seconds. No more than that, though.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done on public transportation?

I don’t use public transportation, so I can’t think of anything. I did jerk a dude off in the back of a school bus once while in high school. Would that count?

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the Intervention.

Ubuntu!