Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #117
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 117 and I’m still standing. Let’s do this.

Without drugs and alcohol, what’s the best way to escape reality?

My favorite means are listening to music, reading, or writing. Just find something you enjoy and stay busy.

What’s the weirdest thing you do while driving?

I’m constantly checking the mirrors and trying to pay attention to everything around me. I don’t know how weird that is, but that’s what I do. I hate driving.

If you’re given $80,000, but have to be chased by one animal for 24 hours, which animal are you choosing?

A sexy-ass man-child named Eric. And I might even let him catch me once or twice. And if Eric’s not available, a six-week-old kitten.

What is the hardest truth you’ve learnt about life?

That nothing lasts forever, and hearts can change. And people, for the most part, suck!

Have you ever seen a ghost or something that can’t be explained by science or logic?

The moment my stepdad passed away from cancer, the clock here at our house fell off the kitchen wall, where it had rested for nearly a decade. Explain that!

Did you have to study Shakespeare in school? Did you like it or hate it if you did?

I don’t remember if we ever did Shakespeare or not. I don’t think we did. I remember Of Mice & Men and The Great Gatsby, but not Shakespeare. But I have read some on my own. It’s okay.

What’s the best rifle to take down an angry bear?

A big one. Maybe a Bazooka?

Have you ever pretended not to get a text to get out of doing something?

I may have done this once or twice. I’ve also faked a phone call or text message to have an excuse to end a visit or leave early. Whatever works, right?

What’s the weirdest or most unexpected movie you love?

Howard the Duck. Yes, the movie sucks, but over the years, it’s grown on me. It has a unique charm, and is so bad, it’s good. I’ll rarely pass up a chance to watch it.

Free burgers for life or 1 night with Amber Heard?

What the hell am I going to do with Amber Heard? She’s a psycho, and she’s not housebroken. Give me the burgers.

Chinese or Indian?

For food, I’d take the Chinese. For anything else, give me the Indian. I love that mocha colored skin.

Best dip for Fried Pickles?

I’ll dip them into the trash can. I don’t do pickles, period!

How much faith do you have in 3-letter agencies?

Unless it’s the nWo, and they’re 4 Life, I find all of the three-letter agencies of our government to be crooked, dishonest, and corrupt. And those are their best qualities. Government sucks!

Would you prostitute yourself for extra money?

I’ve done worse things for free, and those bills don’t pay themselves. It wouldn’t be my first choice, but I’m not outright saying no either. It would depend on the situation, the person, and how much.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the free clinic.

Ubuntu!