Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #119
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 119, and I’m still standing. Let’s do this.

What’s a 10/10 British TV series?

The UK version of Shameless is pretty damn good, but the perfect British series? I’ll have to go with Are You Being Served.

Was swearing allowed in your house as you were growing up?

It was a part of our home, but it was not allowed. It just sort of slipped out sometimes.

Do you use funny voices to speak to your pets?

No, and it irritates me when people do. I talk quietly and soothingly, but I use a regular voice and tone. My pets deserve more respect than that phony-ass clown voice.

What’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen, and why did you watch it?

It was A Serbian Film. I watched it because I had read the reviews and seen the hype and I had to see for myself. I watched it, I was disgusted, and I hope that I never have to watch it again.

If you could have any superpower, but it had to be super specific, what would it be?

The ability to read and control minds. Think Professor Xavier of the X-Men. I even have the wheelchair and a bald skin cap if needed.

If you could have any fictional gadget or tech, what would you want?

A wand, as seen in Harry Potter, with the knowledge to use it as a full and functioning wizard.

Did you ever own a lava lamp?

No, I can not say that I ever have. I remember looking at them in Spencers when I was a teenager and almost buying one, but it never happened. I changed my mind.

Who is your favorite Flintstone?

He’s not really a Flintstone, but he was a recurring character in the cartoon. My favorite would be The Great Gazoo.

Which would you rather have as a pet? A flamingo or a reindeer?

I’m not a bird person, but reindeer are pretty cool. I can dress up like Santa and rent him out for the holidays. I’ll take Rudolph Jr.

Do you prefer being the driver or the passenger?

Anyone who knows me can answer this one. I hate having to drive.

Is Jill Biden the most evil woman in America?

I don’t know if she’s the most evil. After all, Hillary, Whoopi, Alyssa Milano, Bette Midler, Tammy Sytch, and Sunny Hostin all are in consideration for that top spot as well. But the fake doctor is a contender.

What’s a smell that instantly takes you back to a specific memory?

A home cleaned with bleach. It was how my Grandma cleaned her house and reminds me of that.

Do you think you’re more like your mom or your dad?

I can identify characteristics from both Mom & Dad in my personality and behavior. I’ve picked up the stubborn streak and determination from both of them to be sure. Overall, I think I’m more like my Dad though.

Would you feel comfortable showing me the photos on your phone?

I wouldn’t mind, but I’d warn you first that it’s all selfies, cats, Eric, and random nudes that guys keep sending me on MeetMe. If you’re cool with that, look all you want.

What’s common today that humans will be embarrassed about doing in 50 years?

The whole pronoun game where people don’t know if they’re male, female, a single person, or a plural object. That, plus the people not knowing what gender they are.

What one thing would significantly make your life better?

To get out of this house and away from everyone and everything for a few days. The animals are annoying, Ma is bat-shit crazy, and I hate this damn place. I’m losing my freaking mind!

What’s the best part of rain?

How it seems to refresh everything it touches, wash away pollen and dust, and just leave a fresh, clean feeling in the air.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the Disco Hall.

Ubuntu!