Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #124
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 124, and I’m still standing. Let’s do this.

How do you feel about dating someone you work with?

I’ve been there and done that, and no, it’s usually not a good idea. It changes the dynamics of either the working relationship or the personal relationship, and rarely is it for the better.

Who is the fictional character you’d most like to hang with?

I would say Frank Gallagher from Shameless, but I doubt that I’d survive the experience. How about Cousin Itt Addams? That would be a blast, and the whole family is cool.

Do you drink Starbucks coffee?

I never drink… coffee.

Do you like mushrooms in your food?

I don’t really have a preference here. Mushrooms are okay, but I never go out of my way to add them to a meal or anything else. If they’re there, fine. But I’m not actively seeking them out or adding them to a meal.

If you could only listen to two music artists for the rest of your life, who would you choose?

Do I really need to answer this? Alice Cooper and Waylon Jennings. And if those two were not allowed, for some reason, then Dr. Hook & Tina Turner.

Would you lie to spare someone’s feelings?

It depends on the person and the lie. Usually, no, but there are always exceptions.

Acoustic Music or Electronic Music?

I like the acoustic music the best.

What would be your last meal if you were on death row?

If it was the last meal and I was going to die, I doubt the menu choices would matter much to me, but what the hell? I’ll play along. Fried chicken, Mac & Cheese, baked beans, and a roll.

What do you typically do when you’re bored?

I write, sleep, or overthink every single aspect of my life.

What is the silliest thing you’ve ever seen a stranger do in public?

I remember a night at Convenient Food Mart when I watched a drunk guy get into a fight with a gas pump… and lost. Yes, I ended up calling the law and he was arrested, but it was truly a moment.

What do you think your last words will be?

“Yeah! Well, fuck you too! Oh, shit!”

Who’s the better talent? Marlon Brando or Tom Cruise?

It’s a tough call because both are legendary actors. Tom Cruise, as a personality and person, is annoying, but I loved him as Lestat in Interview with the Vampire. Marlon Brando was a groundbreaker as well. I think I like Cruise better.

What’s a job or responsibility we undervalue in today’s society?

The role of a customer service representative. Dealing with people all day and not killing them or being an asshole is an acquired skill. We deserve a medal for not killing anyone.

What makes you, you?

The moodiness, the personality shifts, the dark sense of humor, the big heart, the quirky and odd behavior, all of the above. It’s not easily explained, but I’m just me.

How do you deal with people who don’t like you for no apparent reason?

I try to be extra nice, extra polite, and extra professional. It pisses them off more than anything.

Should people have to pass a drug test to receive welfare?

Yes!

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you in the band room.

Ubuntu!