Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #126
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 126, and just like Elton John, I’m still standing. Let’s do this.

Who is the most famous person you’ve spoken to?

Many wrestlers, such as Greg Valentine, Ivan Koloff, Baby Doll, Sable, and Ric Flair. TV personalities such as Uncle Paul Montgomery & Charlie Gaddy. Comedian Beth Donahue. Singers Janis Ian & Bucky Covington. Take your pick.

What’s a movie that you swear no one else has watched but yourself and a few others?

Kevin Smith’s TUSK. It’s a weird movie, but it seems to get better with each viewing. I liked it, anyhow.

If you were given the chance to have a controller with the power to rewind or fast forward, which button would you press?

I’d rewind. It’s better to go back and fix mistakes than to move forward into the unknown.

Have you ever met your doppelgänger?

Nope, but I’ve been told that I have one. This guy worked at JP Stevens for years and has allegedly been a teacher, a police officer, and so many other jobs, but everyone thinks that it’s me. Crazy!

Which of the meals is the most important?

All meals are important. Food is our friend.

What’s the most hilarious fact you know?

Some penguins propose to their mates by giving them pebbles.

What’s one thing you wish we knew five years ago?

How about how brain-damaged Joe Biden actually is/was? If only we had known.

What are two things that will keep you indoors for the entire day?

Rain, and the fact that it’s daylight.

How do you feel about racially mixed marriages and relationships?

I have no feelings about mixed marriages and relationships. Race is just the color of one’s skin and doesn’t matter. It’s the personality, the background, the soul, and the character that matters.

Do you prefer being the driver or the passenger?

Passenger. I hate to drive.

What’s your favorite David Bowie song?

This is one of my favorites, although Bowie allegedly hated it later in life. The Laughing Gnome.

Which actor immerses so deeply into a role that you only see the character and not the actor?

Robert Downey Jr. made Tony Stark, aka Iron Man, his own and dominated that role.

What kind of food would you never offer a tiger?

Tigers will eat almost anything. Ask that bitch, Carol Baskin.

What sport do you think is the most boring to watch?

Baseball, football, golf, tennis, WNBA, etc. Take your pick.

Where would you go, and what would you do if a millionaire were to fund your all-expenses-paid one-week trip to anywhere?

I’d snatch up my bro, his family, and the dude I still love, damn it, and we’d be all in Hawaii for the week.

If it was biological women strippers doing story-time instead of trans-women or drag queens, would it still be acceptable?

It is never acceptable to expose children to strippers, drag queens, or any of the sexual stuff. Never!

Did you drink from the Garden Hose while playing outside as a child?

Many times. If I got hot or thirsty, I’d go to the closest possible source for relief.

Which app on your phone do you use the most?

MeetMe, Facebook, and Spotify.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you on by the old oak tree.

Ubuntu!