Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #147
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 147, and I’m still standing. Let’s do this.

Which sport is better? Soccer or golf.

Soccer by far. Look at those guys! DAMN! Golf, except for Happy Gilmore, is boring to me. But I could watch those soccer guys all day. And I promise you, I’d make sure one of them scored.

What’s your favourite movie that you could watch over and over again?

My favorite? Clerks. It’s about my life a few years ago. Kevin Smith just made the movie before I did.

What is your favorite sports team?

Would the WWE count as a sports team? Probably not. So, let’s go with the University of North Carolina Tarheels! UNC #1.

Who do you miss the most from your past?

Being healthy and having friends.

What’s the most controversial opinion you have?

I don’t have controversial opinions. I just have the right ones.

Are you a spender or a saver?

A saver for sure. Try living on nothing but a disability check and paying ALL the household bills. I can stretch a dollar rather well.

What is your favourite celebrity scandal right now?

I haven’t been keeping track, but the whole Johnny Depp/Amber Heard thing a few years ago was wild. She’s a nasty wench. And Free Joe Exotic.

What is something you’ve failed at recently?

I’ve failed to keep my temper in check a few times as of late. But people say something dumb or act stupidly, and harsh words just seem to slip out. My bad!

What hobby would you like to have more time for?

Writing stories, providing customer service, and booty calls.

What would you do if you became lost in a city you aren’t familiar with, and you don’t have a smartphone to help you?

I ask directions or I locate either a police officer or a pizza delivery place and look at a map. Either one works, or at least it used to.

Are you an impulsive type of person?

Not so much anymore, but I do have my moments, especially if he’s cute.

Do you make friends easily?

I make friendly acquaintances quite easily, yes. It takes a lot now to get through the walls and become what I consider an actual real friend, but people to talk to, chill with, and converse with, when I relax, I seem to attract many of them.

Would you watch an Archie Bunker remake on Netflix?

If it happens, I’ll probably watch it at first to check it out. I doubt it could be as good as the original, but I’m curious and I’d want to give it a look-see.

Did you ever vote for Obama? Yes or No?

To my shame, I did when he ran against John McCain. I didn’t like or trust Obama. He seemed too polished and good to be true, but I knew that McCain was a weasel and was not to be trusted at all. I went for what I felt was the lesser of two evils and two mistakes. Either way, we would be getting screwed over by a corrupt loser, but I just couldn’t bring myself to vote for McCain, so I held my nose and voted for Obama. And I’ve regretted it ever since.

How old were you when you had your first beer?

The first time I remember tasting it, I think I was 7 or 8 years old. I didn’t like it. The first full beer, I was 14, if I remember correctly.

Without cursing, give me another meaning WTF could stand for?

Where’s the food?

Did your parents have a station wagon when you were growing up? Mine did.

Mom owned a Ford Fairmont station wagon for a few years, complete with the wood-like paneling on the side. And I myself drove a Ford Taurus station wagon for a few years as well.

If you could convince 5 singers who are not normally associated with each other to come together and make an album, as the Traveling Wilburys did, what singers would you select? And what would you call the group?

I’d bring in Yelawolf, Steven Tyler, Alice Cooper, Caitlynne Curtis, and Mark McGrath together, lock them in a studio for two weeks, and just tell them to make music. And the name of this collaborative unit? The James Gang.

If you could change one thing about your personality, what would it be?

I’d try to be more open, outgoing, and friendly. I’ve kind of gotten more withdrawn over the past few years, and I need to rectify that.

Do you have a favorite Disney character?

I have many favorites, but my most favorite will always be Donald Duck.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you in the Coconut Grove.

Ubuntu!