Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #148
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 148, and I’m still standing. Let’s do this.

What will you do if the WMBA goes on strike?

I might take a nap. I might pet my cat. I might go to Walmart and get some tater tots. I don’t know what I’ll do.

Are all women crazy?

With all due respect, every woman has a little bit of crazy inside her. The only difference is the degrees of craziness that they let show to the public.

What song instantly takes you back to a specific time in your life?

More Than Words, by Extreme. That song reminds me of Connie and those few months we were dating.

What’s the best gift a woman can give you?

The pleasure of their company and time. And that’s any of my friends. I don’t care about material things. I just treasure my friends for being themselves and allowing me to be part of their lives

Who is your favorite comedian?

Joan Rivers, Don Rickles, Rodney Dangerfield, and George Carlin. And of the modern comics, today’s generation, Brad Williams and Chris Rock.

What’s the weirdest thing in your fridge right now?

Half of a fifth of PB&W, peanut butter whiskey, and half of a mason jar of Orange Creme moonshine.

What was your favorite video game as a kid?

Galaga and Ms. Pac-Man.

Tell me about one thing on your bucket list.

I want to be a part of a wrestling angle, maybe getting beat up by a wrestler, or handing a wrestler my prosthetic leg to nail his opponent with.

What’s something that people misunderstand about you?

People often mistake kindness for weakness.

How can you tell when someone is lying?

For many I know, just opening the mouth is a sign that they’re lying. Otherwise, I pay attention to their body language.

Do you prefer to stay in or go out?

I prefer to stay in, but it depends on the reason; I may or may not be headed out. I like going out if I’m spending time with my bro, getting food, or on a booty call.

If you were a dog, which breed would you want to be?

Probably a German Shepard. Those are some very intelligent and beautiful dogs.

What movie resembles your life the most?

I’ve often said that the movie, Clerks, was about my life at Dairy Mart and Nics. I don’t think anyone ever screwed a dead guy in the bathroom, and we never played hockey on the roof, but we did play Frisbee a few times. The rest of that movie, I’ve been there and done that. Kevin Smith just made the movie before I had the chance.

If you could go back in time, what is one situation you would do differently?

Probably the DWIs in Fayetteville and Raeford. That was pure stupidity on my part, and I paid for that night many times over.

What are your long-term goals?

Don’t die… and maybe build the site up to include audio and videos.

What is one thing you wish you could do that you know you probably never will?

Get married and have a kid. Hell, I’d be happy with the marriage thing.

What do you normally do for fun?

I write, I sleep, and I seduce sexy men for a little fun.

Men over 35 are either really into World War 2 or smoking meats. Which one are you?

Smoking meat. I’ve always enjoyed smoking meat.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you on the cooking show.

Ubuntu!