Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #149
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 149, and I’m still standing. Let’s do this.

What alcohol tastes bad, but people pretend as if it tastes good?

Scotch. I’ve tried it a few times and can’t get past the first swallow. When I worked at the ABC store, I’d always advise the newbies wanting to try Scotch for the first time that it’s an acquired taste.

If someone asks you to switch seats on an airplane so they can sit with their family/friends, will you?

I’ve never been on an airplane, so I can’t say for sure, but most likely, I would.

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry on the same day?

Yes, and that would be me. I can’t stand to leave clothes in the washer or dryer.

Which country would you never visit, even if the trip were free?

Can I say California? No, it’s not a country, yet. Maybe North Korea or China. I would end up either a political prisoner or dead.

Are you ok?

Nope. Not really, but I can fake it pretty well, so it’s all good.

Is being pregnant and having a small child at home a valid excuse to miss jury duty?

I would think so, yes.

Did you know both sets of grandparents?

I knew both on my Dad’s side, Grandma Vick and Grandpa Raymond. But so far as my Mom’s parents go, I only knew her mother. Her dad, my Grandpa, died when I was a baby.

Why do married men choose to cheat on their wives?

Every cheater has a different reason to justify the cheating. Usually, it’s because the marriage is lacking in some way. Or stupidity and lust.

What’s cheaper than therapy?

Music, writing, or a cat. I use all three methods.

Define your life in one word?

Conflicted.

Will they try to impeach Trump again?

Of course they will. The Dems are a one-trick pony and if it doesn’t work once or twice, keep trying.

UFOs land on Earth today. They ask to meet with one representative for humans, but not someone in the government. Who are we sending?

Would Kermit the Frog be available? Probably not. Let’s send them Dolly Parton. Everyone loves Dolly.

Would you ever meet a Twitter follower in real life?

If they’re local and cute, hell yeah.

Should a guy always pay for the date?

Whoever did the asking should pay for the first date, and if there are more that follow, the couple should take turns and alternate paying the bills.

Do you still think money is everything?

Money is a necessary evil, but many things matter more and are more important.

Can you marry your friend’s ex?

You can, but it’s kind of twisted to do that. It would depend on the friend, the ex, and the circumstances surrounding the relationships.

Why are you single?

I’m a selfish, standoffish loner and unwilling to change myself to suit anyone else. And because I’m an idiot.

If you could start over, would you?

I’ve been thinking about that quite often as of late. I’m only here because of family obligations, but if anything happens to Mom, I’m probably selling the house and leaving, going far away, never to return. This place has nothing for me anymore. I can keep up with the few that matter via text or FB.

What are you addicted to?

Wrestling is my addiction. And it used to be sex, but now, I only want one person… and I can’t have him, damn it.

What are three items you always keep next to your bed at night when you are sleeping?

My phone, my prosthetic leg, and a way to welcome any visitors that are not supposed to be here.

If a woman sleeps with 10 men, she’s a slut, but if a man does it, then what is he?

He’s gay. He’s definitely gay.

What a food or drink that is not sold today you wish they’d bring back?

Tab soda, and a great Jalepeno Bean Dip that Dollar Tree used to carry. That stuff was good!

$5000 a week for the rest of your life, but you can’t talk to your family anymore. Could you do it?

Right now, no, but if anything ever happens to Mom, then sure. She might drive me crazy, but I’m not going to forsake my obligations as a good son. So yeah, I could, but with an asterisk attached.

What’s your go-to dish to bring to a dinner party?

Baked beans and Devilled Eggs.

If you had to live in Europe, which country would you live in?

I would hope it never comes to that, but I’d choose the UK. I have some friends there and worked for a UK-based website for over ten years, so that makes the most sense.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you on the street corner.

Ubuntu!