Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #150
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 150, and I’m still standing. Let’s do this.

Are you comfortable eating in a restaurant alone?

Honestly, these days, I get anxiety even considering going to a restaurant to pick up a take-out order. Drive-thru is a wonderful thing. Going inside with a group, I can fake it, and I’ll be okay. By myself, I’d have a total freak-out and probably have an anxiety attack.

Slowly losing friends is part of growing up. Agree or disagree?

I used to have a ton of friends and a party every night. And now, except for the occasional text, I often go weeks with no human contact at all except for Mom or doctor appointments. So, that would be a yes.

How do you know that you’re in love?

When the other person is in every thought, and every moment is filled with their essence and hope for their presence. They mean more than anyone or anything, and their touch or voice sends amazing vibes all through your body.

Name up to ten artists that reflect your musical taste. GO!

Waylon Jennings, Alice Cooper, Frank Sinatra, Dr. Hook, Yelawolf, Rickie Lee Jones, Struggle Jennings, Caitlynne Curtis, Soce the Elemental Wizard, and Conway Twitty.

Do you still remember your childhood landline number?

I remember our number from my childhood in Raleigh, 833-8369, our number in Maxton, 844-3333, and my Grandma’s number in South Point, Ohio, 867-5409. But I can hardly remember our landline number here at the house, which we’ve had for 15 years. Go figure.

If you took a shot for every bad decision you’ve ever made, would you be tipsy, drunk, or wasted?

I’d be dead from alcohol poisoning, and my body would be pickled enough to be preserved for centuries.

Which movie would you want to be in if your life were a movie?

If my life were a movie, it’d be Kevin Smith’s Clerks. And if we’re putting me into it, I guess Kevin needs to start writing Clerks 4. I’m available.

If you could remove one color in the whole world, what would it be?

That nasty puke green that is only seen in swamps and baby diapers. Just the thought of it makes me want to gag.

What is the silliest thing you’ve ever seen a stranger do in public?

I remember watching a drunk guy get in a fight with a gas tank while I worked at Dairy Mart. And the guy lost the battle. That gas pump whipped his ass.

Do you sleep with the lights on or off?

The only lights are the street lights from outside or the sun peeking through the windows. I like my darkness.

Do people drink or eat soup?

People eat the main part of it and drink what’s left to empty the bowl.

How would your life be different if social media didn’t exist?

I would probably be a very lonely and sad person. I wouldn’t be the infamous internet wrestling journalist that I profess to be, and I’d probably be drunk right now.

Are you a morning person or a night owl?

Late nights and early mornings are my time to shine.

What was the minimum wage when you started working?

My first job was $3.10 per hour. And making those wages, I managed to rent an apartment, pay bills, have a car, buy gas and insurance, buy groceries, and party quite often. Good times for sure.

Three words better than “I love you”?

Let’s get naked!

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the hot dog stand.

Ubuntu!