Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #151
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 151, and I’m still standing. Let’s do this.

Do women ever apologize?

Why should they? They’re never wrong. If you don’t believe me, just ask a woman. They’ll tell you.

What heals you the most when you are low?

My stubbornness and desire to keep on keeping on. I ain’t got time to bleed, or feel bad, or whatever.

What is one thing you wish you could do that you know you probably never will?

Work an angle with my wrestling friends, sing on American Idol, and get married. Okay, that’s more than one, but it’s my blog and it’s allowed.

What do you normally do for fun?

I write, I sleep, or I have a booty call.

Are all immigrants criminals?

If they have entered the country illegally, then yes, they are criminals. That’s why they’re called illegal immigrants. If they’ve entered the country legally and through the proper process, then not at all.

Who is the greatest heavy metal singer of all time?

Alice isn’t technically heavy metal, so I’d need to pick another talent. Rob Halford, of Judas Priest. That man has some amazing chops.

Would you be offended if the Washington Commanders changed their name back to the traditional Washington Redskins?

Nope, I couldn’t care less one way or the other. They never should have changed the name to start off, and will always be The Redskins to me.

What song would be the perfect theme song for your life?

Faith No More – Falling to Pieces.

Be honest, do you trust our government officials?

I can count the people that I trust on one hand and still have two fingers left over. Government can not be trusted in any way, shape, or form.

Why don’t men open up?

We’re taught from childhood that men don’t open up or show emotions. Men are supposed to be strong, resilient, and support everyone else on their shoulders. Men don’t open up because we’re not supposed to.

What would you do if you could live forever?

Probably be depressed, go insane, and be miserable. No one should want to live forever. I know I wouldn’t.

Do you like pineapple on your pizza?

I like it. Yes.

What would be your ideal 3-course meal, including drinks?

I don’t get all the fancy meal planning and stuff. We have a meal, all the food is served at once, and we munch. What is all this fancy-smancy course crap? Ideal meal? Fried chicken, stuffing, baked beans, potato salad, corn on the cob, and rolls. Banana pudding for dessert. And I’m drinking Mt. Dew Zero.

If you could cover any other topic in a career in podcasting, apart from Football or Wrestling, what would you choose?

If I can’t do wrestling, what’s left? I guess I would do comics or older music as my topics of choice. And maybe just BSing with my bro about life experiences and current events in the news.

Top 5 travel destinations (only places you’ve never been before).

Places that I’ve never been, but would love to visit. Athens, Greece, for the whole mythology thing. England, just to visit Paps and check things out. Baton Rouge, LA, just because that city has always fascinated me. Madison Square Garden for a WWE show. And finally, Lukenbach, Texas, because Willie and Waylon said so.

What’s your Mount Rushmore of Mountain Dew flavors?

Mt. Dew Zero, Mt. Dew Red, the limited series Apple flavor that was out a few years ago, and Diet Mt. Dew.

Dream Festival line-up – 8 acts + 1 headliner – whatever order you want.

The headliner would be Frank Sinatra, and the rest of the acts would be Waylon Jennings, Alice Cooper, Sammy Davis Jr., Rickie Lee Jones, Sublime, Kid Rock, Guns N’ Roses, and Elvis Presley.

What’s your best tip for saving money?

If you don’t need it, don’t buy it. Think before you spend.

At your age, what’s the perfect gift?

Food is always good, but generally, just a person’s time and presence is more than sufficient and a great gift.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the soup kitchen.

Ubuntu!