Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #153
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 153, and I’m still standing. Let’s do this.

Would you choose immortality if you could?

Nope, and I’ve explained why before. Living forever while those you love pass away, watching everything and everyone change. It just sounds too lonely for me.

What exactly is preventing you from moving to London?

I don’t currently have a valid passport, plus a move like that takes money, of which I have little as well. Plus, I don’t like tea.

Describe Five Guys in one word.

Exhausting.

What do you think is your most annoying quirk?

I’m bad about returning calls, texts, or messages. I’m trying to do better with that, but it’s a work in progress.

How do you wind down before going to sleep?

I write, read, or listen to music.

Based on your bank account, where can you afford to travel right now?

Right now, I might make it across town, but I can’t afford to do anything once I get there. Living on a fixed income sucks!

Can you swim? How old were you when you learned?

I know how, but I haven’t been swimming in several years. I was four when I learned. Ma made all of us kids take swimming lessons.

Police Academy or Revenge of the Nerds?

Both movies are awesome, but I’ll have to go with Police Academy. I own the complete set of movies on DVD.

If traveling were free, where would you be right now?

Probably some small town in Virginia. Anywhere, but here.

What do you typically do when you’re bored?

Write, sleep, read, or watch YouTube videos about bad cops and how to hold them accountable.

Are you okay with people not liking you?

Yeah, I’m good with that. It’s not my problem if they’re lacking in wisdom and taste. Besides, what can I do about it anyhow? Most of my ‘friends’ don’t like me much anymore.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your driving skills out of 10?

I’d say I’m maybe a 7 or 8. Others might disagree, but no one has died yet.

If you suddenly become rich, will you help the poor?

I’d like to think so. Yes.

You’ve been offered a tour of Dracula’s castle in Transylvania. Would you accept?

Hell yeah. Sign me up. I’m ready.

Did Val Kilmer deserve an Oscar for his portrayal of Doc Holliday in the movie Tombstone?

It was an excellent and memorable role, and Val was easily the best part of the whole movie. I’m not sure who the competition was that year, but yeah, give that man a gold statue.

Are you a tea person or a coffee person?

Neither. I don’t drink tea or coffee. I prefer water or a soft-drink with Zero on the label.

Which part of your body is naturally big?

My heart. I’m a nice guy. Really.

Do you remember the name of your first school?

Brentwood Elementary School, Raleigh, NC.

Why do men instantly become more attractive after getting a girlfriend?

Forbidden fruit is always the most appealing.

What’s the right age for marriage?

There is no right age. It all depends on the person wanting to be married. Just be legal.

Do you take baths or showers?

I prefer showers. Baths are cool, but I have a hard time getting out of the bathtub.

Do you consider Five Guys cheap or expensive?

Five guys would be fun and exciting, but too expensive for my wallet.

Do you look younger or older than your age?

If I shave, I look younger. Most people who don’t know me have a hard time believing I’m as old as I am.

What’s your “plan B” if nobody marries you?

Die alone, lonely, with my cat.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the tree house.

Ubuntu!