Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #155
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 155, and I’m still standing. Let’s do this.

What’s your “this song saved me” track?

There are many songs that would fall into this category. Let’s go with this classic by Jelly Roll and Struggle Jennings. And everything that glitters isn’t gold.

Is LED ZEPPELIN the best band ever?

Led Zeppelin is a great rock band, but the best ever? Not so long as Alice Cooper, Dr. Hook, or Aerosmith exist.

What is the best device for home protection? And don’t say a lock.

A loaded gun or a dog. Either works.

What percentage of United States politicians do you think are corrupt?

99.95%, on a good day.

Is it ok to be white?

It’s okay regardless of what race a person might be. Skin color shouldn’t matter. Race doesn’t matter. All that matters is you are a good person or an asshole. I’m white and I’m proud, as every person should be of their race and identity.

Do you like Sourdough Bread?

Nope. Not really. I like bread that I can eat, and not bread that makes my mouth bleed.

Do grocery stores still provide plastic bags where you live?

Yes, they do, as they should.

Should Hillary Clinton be shamed or jailed?

A person who has no shame can’t be shamed. Lock her ass up.

You won $2B, who are you calling first?

A lawyer to set up trusts and accounts for my family, bro, his family, etc. And then, once that’s done, my bro to let him know that we’re rich.

Were you a fan of Deee-Lite?

Groove may be in the heart, but it is also in my musical favorites list from the ’80s. I was a big fan of the techno-glamor trio.

In the event of nuclear war, what’s the safest country to live in?

Latveria. Under the protection of Dr. Doom, I think I’d be quite safe. Nobody dares to mess with Doom. Or the North Pole with Santa. Either/or.

When you eat a grapefruit, do you cut it in half or peel it?

No to both options. I would either leave the grapefruit in the fridge or throw it in the trash.

What’s one rock album that defines your taste?

My tastes are eclectic and change from day to day, but an album that defines me perfectly is The Last Temptation, by Alice Cooper, of course.

Do you brush your teeth every day?

At least twice, and sometimes more often.

If you had to star in a movie, what genre would you choose?

It’d be a dark comedy, with the serious stuff mixed in with lots of dark humor, cynicism, and sarcasm.

Do you believe in ghosts?

I don’t necessarily believe in ghosts, but I do believe there is an entire world out there we don’t understand. I can’t say that ghosts exist, but I refuse to say they don’t either. I’ve seen too many weird things to discount any possibility.

What would be the only reason for you to move abroad from your native country?

Leave the United States? The only reason I would do that is to protect those I love, my bro, and the family. That’s the only reason I can think of.

Did you like Whitney Houston?

From all I’ve heard, I don’t think much of her as a person, but she was a talented singer with an amazing voice.

Describe Trey Gowdy using only one word.

Unique.

Would you prefer a $5,000 DOGE check or for the national debt to be paid down?

I’ll take the check. Personal finances are extremely tight right now, and I need the money.

What is it that everybody seems to be doing that makes them look stupid?

Walking around with sagging pants, smelling like weed, and acting like animals instead of people with common sense. Our society has declined so quickly and so much over the past few years. People have no pride or self-respect.

What excuse have you recently used to avoid doing something?

I don’t make excuses anymore. I just say no. Being old, crippled, and not giving a damn anymore works wonders.

What’s your least favorite planet?

It sure as hell isn’t Uranus. That’s one of my favorites. How about Mars? That little Martian who was always trying to blow up Earth was annoying sometimes.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the weed farm.

Ubuntu!