Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #161
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 161, and I’m still standing. Damn, it’s been a while. Let’s do this.

What’s a terrible place to hold a first date?

A graveyard probably wouldn’t be ideal. I doubt a family reunion would work well either. And Walmart is a definite no-no.

If you could go back in time and change music history by saving one musician we lost too soon, who would it be?

That’s tough, but the first name that comes to mind is Bradley Nowell, of Sublime. He died of an overdose just weeks before the release of Sublime’s major label debut, and the talent was so obvious and tremendous, taken far too quickly and soon. Just listen to what Bradley wrote and sang, and then imagine, “What if?”.

Do you think the left even realizes what hypocrites they are?

The majority of the libtards are so entitled, it’s rules for thee, not for me. They know, but they just don’t care.

Suppose a man wins the lottery and has kids from a previous marriage. Should the ex-wife be entitled to anything?

Nope. If they weren’t together when he won, she doesn’t get squat. And if the kids are adults, they’re not entitled to squat either. If he wants to give them something, cool, but that’s his call, and he doesn’t have to.

What would you name your yacht if you had one?

Tossing Salt, of course. Or The Coop.

When do morals and values trump money?

Always. Money is a necessary evil, but being a good person should always come first.

If you could book any artist to play a show for your backyard BBQ, who would you choose?

Right now, it’d be Hank Williams Jr., because you know that if Hank is there, all his rowdy friends will be showing up too.

Should cats be permitted on kitchen counters?

Should they? Probably not, but who is going to stop them and tell them no? Even if someone does, they won’t listen. They’re cats. Just accept it and be thankful they allow you in their presence.

As you get older, do older people become more attractive to you?

To a point, but I still like that sexy, young stuff. Legal, of course, but younger than me. Suffice it to say, I’m at the point where I can date a guy, his daddy, or his grandpa, and it feels right. Age is just a number, anyhow. It’s the person and their character/personality that matters. And, if they’re a twin.

If you were writing a book about 2025, what would your first sentence be?

Damn! Just damn!

What was your favorite childhood book?

That was a very long time ago, and I don’t remember. In my 11-12 year age range, I was big on Hamilton’s Mythology, telling about Greek and Roman mythology.

Which part of the roller coaster do you usually ride: the front, middle, or back?

I prefer the middle these days. Less wear and tear on my knees, and I don’t feel quite as likely to fall out.

What would you do if you woke up and the year was 1782?

I wear a prosthetic leg, talk oddly, and my main knowledge is of things that most people of that time would find strange. I’d probably be burned as a witch.

What do you usually daydream about?

Old friends, the life I used to have, the future that lies ahead, and certain guys I’d like to be closer to, even if only for an hour or two.

What do you think is the best hangover cure?

A cold beer. A little bit of the hair of the dog that bit you always seems to help. Or a long, hot shower.

What’s the most beautiful part of your face?

My eyes. Although, to be honest, most men seem to like my mouth quite well too.

What has been your worst nightmare?

The life I’m currently living, and what it has become. Who I am now, and the person I’m turning into, more and more each day.

Do you make a difference?

I’d like to think so, but I truly doubt it.

Would you rather have just one more Doors Album or one more CCR album?

With all due respect to CCR, I’d absolutely prefer Jim Morrison and The Doors.

What kind of dude goes to an NFL game excited to see a male cheerleader?

A gay dude. That’s who.

Is using big words a form of white supremacy?

Nope. Not if you actually use them correctly and know what they mean. It means you have a good vocabulary and know some big words. Nothing else.

If you had 24 hours to do whatever you wanted in this country, what would you like to do?

What happens at the end of the 24 hours? Assassination? 24 hours, and it can’t be reversed? Public arrests, convictions, and prison terms for all those corrupt politicians who have lied to us over the past few decades, gaining power and destroying lives with no consequences. Yeah, Hillary and Brandon, I’m looking at you.

How would you describe your greatest enemy?

I don’t have any enemies that I know of. There are people I don’t like, and obviously, people who don’t like me, but it’s not my fault they are ignorant and have low standards. But, I don’t do enemies. So, I’ll say, non-existent.

Do you believe learning English should be a requirement for U.S. citizenship?

Yes. If you’re going to live in a nation where English is spoken, learn to speak English. It’s just common sense.

What has been the worst phase in your life?

We’re in it right now.

What do you prioritize more: relationship or career?

For the past forty years, it has always been a career. I had friends and did stuff, but the job was always first. And now, I’d love a relationship that is strong and matters, but my priority is just surviving and getting by, day to day. I had a relationship that felt right, the perfect person, and I threw it away.

What career would you choose if money were not a concern to you at all?

Writing, podcasting, and wrestling.

What household chores do you hate doing the most?

Cleaning the bathroom, but not for the reasons you’d suspect. My wheelchair won’t fit into the bathroom, so I have to walk and stand while cleaning in there. That’s standing, bending, wiping, all while standing on a prosthetic leg and a bad foot that I’m supposed to stay off of whenever possible. It’s painful and annoying.

What flower is your favourite?

I’ve always had a thing about yellow roses. Let’s go with that.

What movie did you last watch in a cinema?

Avengers: Endgame. Yeah, it’s been a while since I went to see a real movie at the theatre. Usually, I just stream and watch stuff on the computer.

Would you be willing to move to another country without your friends and family?

Right now, the answer would be yes. I can keep up with the people who matter to me via the computer, texts, etc. So long as I can take my cat, I don’t really care where I live.

Who would you share the last slice of cake with if there was just one piece left at your birthday party?

Whoever wants it can have it. I’m not taking the last piece. That just doesn’t float right with me.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you out in the street.

Ubuntu!