Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #165
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 165, and I’m still standing. Damn, it’s been a while. Let’s do this.

Silly hats or silly socks?

I don’t have enough feet left to worry about socks, but the hat would cover up this lucious mullet I’m growing, and hide this head full of hair from the world. Damn, decisions. I’ll go with the hat.

Do you think social media is destroying our communication?

Absolutely. People can’t effectively talk anymore, nor can they write a simple letter or spell. And social media has replaced reality. It really has hurt far more than it’s helped.

What is something you’ve failed at recently?

Keeping my temper in check and not yelling at the dog. I try. He’s a good dog, but just old and very needy. And my patience is tested every time he walks into the room.

What are your thoughts on the British royal family?

Dogs. A bunch of dogs. Go out into the street and call their names. Queenie, Duke, Prince. See what shows up.

Do you think you’re an introvert or an extrovert?

I have moments, but I am 1000% an introvert in person.

What will people be nostalgic for in 500 years?

People won’t be here in 500 years. The world will be run by apes. Didn’t you see the movie?

What was the last movie you saw?

Do adult movies count? Actually, the last one I watched was Tusk, a Kevin Smith classic, on Tubi. I’ve seen it probably a dozen times, and it’s a weird film, but I still like it. It stars Justin Long, who is always awesome, and has an uncredited cameo by Johnny Depp. It’s not for everyone, and is on the quirky end of the spectrum of things, but I like it.

Describe your perfect weekend.

A motel, some beer, a sexy man, and a few friends stopping by, but knowing when it’s time to leave.

If you could go back in time, what is one situation you would do differently?

I would have stayed in Wilmington in ’97 and never come back to Laurinburg.

What’s the most controversial opinion you hold?

My opinions aren’t controversial. They’re just right.

What is your favorite guilty pleasure TV show?

Don’t tell anyone, but I still like to watch American Idol from time to time. It’s not as good as it used to be, but those are some talented kids.

What always calms you down when you’re really stressed out and upset?

It used to be an Uber Hug from Eric, but I haven’t had that in a long time now. My cat. He annoys me sometimes, but he knows how to turn on the love and cuteness, and it’s impossible to stay mad.

What hobby do you wish you had more time for?

Meeting men on Grinder, drinking with my friends, and chilling with my bro and the family.

Do you listen to any podcasts? Which is your favorite?

I listen to several, but mainly it’s the wrestling podcasts by Jim Cornette, Dutch Mantell, and Stevie Richards. And my favorite? Whenever Brent brings back the SMF Cyberspace podcast, that’ll be it. Until then, Cornette would be my favorite.

Tell me three fun facts about yourself.

I’ve been an ordained minister since 2000 by the Progressive Universal Life Church. I used to collect comics, but had to quit when those damn bills started getting in the way. And for the most part, I prefer animals over most people.

What do you normally do for fun?

I write, I sing to myself, and I watch corrupt cop videos on YouTube.

What’s the weirdest text message you’ve ever gotten?

Not counting the dirty ones, I got a message that claimed my number was on the bathroom wall at WalMart offering to do some wild things. Unfortunately, it was a prank from an old associate of mine, trying to be funny. And I was getting excited too.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the comic book shop.

Ubuntu!