Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie
Judgment, Sausage Balls, and Rain
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Happy Monday. How the hell are you? Yeah, time to do a very special edition of A Day of Dougie. Look for medical updates, reflections on people, places, and things, and I might tackle the Magic Bag for some randomness too. But this is essentially a life update more than anything else. I need a freakn’ life. And now we’re updated. Next!

Okay, I’m kidding. We’re not done yet. Let me acknowledge a few anniverseries first, and then we’ll move on. Happy 31rst Anniversery to the movie, Clerks. A independent black & white film about working in a convenience store, something I know about very well, by an unknown convenience store clerk named Kevin Smith. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long, but damn. We met Dante, Randall, and especially Jay & Silent Bob, and our lives were changed forever. The legends live on, and the ViewAskewverse was born. Happy Anniversery. And snootchie-bootchies to my Hollyweird Twin, Kevin Smith.

Also, today makes four years since my right foot was amputated. So, it’s been about seven years since my foot began to give me problems (charcot foot), and exactly four years since I did the deed. In hindsight, I think I made a mistake, but what’s done is done, and I’m still standing, figuratively at least. My life changed forever on that day, and I’m not the same person anymore. But I continue to endure, stay strong, and be a twisted, but always sexy beast, who likes twins. I’m kidding. Twins could be fun, but I only want one person in my romantic life. I wonder if he has a twin? Hell, his best friend is a sexy beast, so hmmmm.

Okay, I’m not talking about him today. I can’t be the person he needs in his life. I wish I could. Few things would make me happier than a super Uber Hug from my guy. But our paths must continue to go in different directions for the time being. I wish him the very best, and that he finds the right person to fill his life, be there for him, and bring him happiness. I wish it was me, but my life won’t allow it right now. My baggage is too much, and although I know he would gladly be here if I gave him the chance, I’m making the decision I need to make. And we’re both walking alone. I guess it’s back to the twins then. Or social media. GRINDR? It’s lame as hell, but it has it’s uses.

Quick medical update, and then we can move on entirely. Getting meds from Walmart sucks. The people at my primary doctor’s office suck. And my left foot, what’s left of it, has kind of plateaued on the healing process. I had a big chunk of the foot removed, and 2 1/2 toes removed about a year or so ago. And it looked nasty. But it’s healing, slowly, but surely. And now, it’s still all pink and heathy, but the skin regrowth seems to have stopped. I clean and wrap it in gauze dressings twice a day, try to stay off of it unless necessary, and it’s tolerable. I can still drive, walk, get around, etc., but it’s a bitch. And it’s not better, but not getting worse, so no true complaints.

And guess what? I was going to speak on a few other personal things, such as recent losses of some friends, a really cool dude, Phillip, and a lovely person I dated many, many years ago, Connie, but this isn’t the place or time. Connie passed away a couple of months ago, while Phillip died earlier this week. My heart is numb, and shattered. The world is less two amazing and very special people today. I loved you both, as true friends, great people, and inspirations. And you both are very missed and loved. RIP Connie Barber, and Phillip Locklear.

And now, let’s wrap this up with a couple of random topics from the Magic Bag. Why? Well, why not? Three topics from the bag, just because, are Judgment, Sausage Balls, and The Rain. Enough of the deep stuff. Let’s do this. Let’s roll.

Judgment

Hiow does that old cliche go? Judge not lest ye be judged. I know quite a few people, some of who live in this very household, who need to remember that. Not the cat, because he’s a damn cat and we’re all here to just serve him and are hardly worthy of his notice. That’s just how things are, and being only a human, I realize that. And it’s not the dog because he loves everyone and everything. He acts just like a dog. So, I guess that narrows it down to who makes the comments under their breath, and tends to be extremely hypocritical about almost everyone, but only behind closed doors. I don’t think she even realizes it. I try not to judge too much, but I know I do. I have no room to judge anyone. I know my life, even the things I deny, and the glass doors behind me make me very visable to the world. It is what it is though. And Judgment Day is the best faction in WWE. So, there you go.

Sausage Balls

Sausage, baking powder, such as Jiffy, or Bisquik, and shredded cheese. I think that’s right. It’s been several years since the last time I made sausage balls. But damn, those things make great nibbling-style snacks. They’re supposed to be for holidays, but still, anytime of the year, if one is bored and has a roll of sausage in the freezer, a box of Jiffy mix, and some shredded cheese, this is always a great option. A tasty treat for the entire family. So, there you go.

The Rain

When heaven needs to cry, this is what we get. Or when everything is dusty and nature needs a bath. Rain is beautiful and awesome. The overcast and murky days of too much rain, I’ll admit, affect me psychologically, and I tend to get depressed and withdrawn, even more usual. But a hard storm, comeplete with wind, thunder, and lightning, I tend to embrace and revel in it’s magnificance. Yeah, I know. I’m weird. And back in the day, I used to enjoy walking in the rain. If we had a light shower, the heavy mist filling the air, I’d go walking. If I tried it now, I’d probably rust. But it was such a great and pleasurable moment. I want to play a song here. Can you ever picture a time, a moment, when there was no rain? This one is for the bee girls everywhere.

And there you go. That’s more than enough for today. I’ll be back later today with an edition of the Ultimate Wrestling Q&A, and maybe even jump on a few questions from Twitter, with the Ultimate X Q&A. So, watch for those in the immediate future at the site. And I’m through here. Be well, my friends, and if you’re a sexy twin, or just a sexy dude in the Laurinburg area, call me. I need a hug. And I guess that’s all. I’ll see you around.

Ubuntu!