Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #175
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 175, and I’m still here. Don’t say I don’t love ya.

Do you have trust issues?

Big time. I’ve been lied to by friends, betrayed by family, and taken for granted so many times that it takes quite a bit to get my trust now. The people I fully trust, I can count on one hand.

Longest relationship?

I’ve had several on-off relationships that lasted for a while. Chad for almost 8 years, Danny was over ten years, and there were others. But steady, one-person deals, the longest was Eric for just over a year. Damn those trust issues.

What are your three favorite Christmas or Holiday songs?

All I Want for Christmas Is You – Steve Grand, Do They Know It’s Christmas – Band Aid, and Hard Candy Christmas – Dolly Parton.

How’s your mental health?

It’s a mess, and most days, I’m just barely hanging on. How I’m not an alcoholic or drug addict, I don’t understand.

What happened to the smartest person you went to school with?

I’m right here, answering random questions from Twitter on my computer.

What’s the most underrated song by Prince?

The Beautiful Ones from the Purple Rain soundtrack.

If you could have any musician, past or present, compose a soundtrack for your life, who would it be?

Do you really need to ask? Alice Cooper, of course. And he’s not available, Yelawolf would be fine as well.

Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?

I know he does. And one day, we’ll get back together, and he’ll be my husband. Right now, there are too many issues and complications in the way, but one day.

Have you ever walked outside in your PJs?

My usual bedclothes are shorts and a t-shirt. My usual daily clothes are shorts and a t-shirt. So, that would be a yes.

Have you ever been out of state?

Not recently, but yes, plenty of times.

Do you play the Wii?

No, I don’t do video games or gaming.

Do you like Chinese food?

I love it. It’s one of my favorite meals.

Are you afraid of the dark?

The dark? No, I prefer it and embrace it. Some of the things that lurk in the darkness make me a bit uneasy, but the darkness itself has always been my friend.

Is cheating ever okay?

I can understand it sometimes, but is it okay? No, it’s not.

Do you believe in true love?

It’s rare and hard to find, but yes, it does exist.

Favorite weather?

Cooler, maybe in the ’60s, slightly overcast, and a slight breeze blowing through the air.

Do you like the snow?

I like to look at it from the comfort of my home, but being out in it, especially if I have to drive, then no.

Do you like the outside?

I do, but it depends on my mood, my purpose for being out, and the weather. I’m a moody bitch sometimes.

Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

It depends on who the boy or girl is. Sometimes it’s cute, and other times, it’s creepy. It all depends on the person and situation.

Have you ever made out for more than half an hour straight?

That used to be almost every night. So, that would be a yes.

Ever been to Alaska?

Nope, I can’t say that I have. That’s too far away for my lazy ass.

$50 billion or five minutes with God? Which would you choose?

If I’m being honest, give me the money. We’re with God 24/7 as he’s always here and with us, offering love and support. This is a materialistic world, though, so show me the money.

What stops a man from cheating?

A conscience, true love, or fear of losing everything that matters in your life. Take your pick.

Someone says to you, “You’ve changed.” How do you respond?

I’d simply agree and say yes. Life does that to people.

Ever been to Hawaii?

No, I’m not a big traveler. I prefer to say home.

Do you watch the news?

I’ll watch clips sometimes on the computer, but I don’t watch actual TV anymore.

Do you love MTV?

Is MTV still even a thing? I liked it when I was younger, and they still played videos, but I honestly don’t even remember the last time I actually watched MTV. It’s been quite a while.

Do you like Subway?

It’s okay, but the last few times that I’ve been there, I wasn’t impressed. It’s overrated.

Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

The last person I romantically kissed. It would be a pleasure to kiss him again.

Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you. What do you do?

I thank them for the attention, but remind them who I am, and try to gently let them down as I say, NO! You can’t have that.

Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them?

Many times. Sometimes, I just don’t feel like talking or putting on my small talk, public face. Sometimes, I just don’t want to deal with people.

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex whom you can act your complete self around?

Back in the day, it would be Tian or Tatitia, and now, Theresa sees more of the real me than almost anyone. Nobody sees it all, but Theresa and Kenneth see more than anyone else.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

My Mom, and the awesome person from across the street, Starr Anne.

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My cat, Mouthie. Oh, wait, it says person, so that would be Theresa.

Ever bought condoms?

I’m a gay man who discovered sex in the early ’80s, the AIDS era. I don’t like them much, but better to be safe than sorry. That would be yes.

Ever gotten pregnant?

Nope, just fat. I’ve been trying for years, but so far, no baby for me.

Have you ever slipped on ice?

A couple of times, yeah. Once, I slid down the metal steps at Food Lion while picking up for the Food Bank. I bruised my tailbone and my back/ass was an ugly purple for weeks, but I never dropped the box of veggies that I was carrying.

Have you ever missed the bus?

A few times, yes. But usually, I would just wave them on and then lie low until everyone went to work. Then it was skippy-school time.

Have you left the house without money?

More times than I care to admit to. But times are tough and sometimes, the money gets tight.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the Jazz Club.

Ubuntu!