Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #176
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 176, and I’m still standing. Don’t say I don’t love ya.

Have you ever smoked cigarettes?

On occasion, although I’ve never been a regular smoker. I’d only smoke if I was drinking, writing, or totally stressed out. As I’ve often warned others, if you ever come across me smoking a cigarette and there isn’t a beer present in my other hand, then quietly back away. It isn’t a good situation.

Have you ever smoked a cigar?

I have, but I wasn’t impressed. I guess it’s an acquired taste that I never acquired. I do like the bubble gum cigars, though. Do they still even make those?

Did you ever drink alcohol?

Not nearly as often as I used to, but it may happen. I’m just an anti-social social drinker now. Damn, I think I need a good, drunk night with a few old friends. Anyone interested?

Did you ever watch “The Breakfast Club”?

I’ve seen it a few times. It’s okay, but nothing special in my eyes.

Have you ever been overweight?

I’ve almost always been a fat boy. I have to keep the belly to make it fair for all the other men. I don’t want to overwhelm everyone by being cool, funny, mysterious, and a total sweetheart, and skinny too. Sacrifices had to be made. Plus, I like food.

Ever been to a wedding?

A few, but not any recently. The only wedding left in my future will be my own.

What is that one color you never get tired of wearing?

Black, of course.

Are you a genius?

I’m not Wile E. Coyote, but I’m not an idiot either. I know some stuff.

Should it be illegal to sing Christmas Carols in public?

I like Christmas carols, so no. Sing them loud and proud. Randomly rapping, though? Lock them up.

What song blew you away the first time you heard it?

I can think of a few, but this classic by Struggle Jennings and Caitlyne Curtis stands out. It still gives me goosebumps. It’s called, God, We Need You Now.

Have you ever spent 5 hours straight on the computer?

Almost every day. When I get on a roll, I don’t stop. And also, the computer is my main source of socialization and knowledge.

Did you ever watch TV for 5 hours straight?

I’m sure that I have, but I haven’t watched TV in nearly two years. I don’t do TV.

Ever kissed in the rain?

Among other things, yes.

Did you ever shower with someone else?

It gets a little awkward, but after a few beers, it seems to work out. We just wanted to conserve water. That would be a yes.

Ever been outside your home country?

Only in my dreams and wanderings through my mind. Aside from that, I never travel outside my territory.

Ever been on a road trip longer than 5 hours?

Trips to Ohio, Florida, and Connecticut. Yes.

Have you ever broken a bone?

My ankle, wrist, a finger or two, and possibly my tailbone, but that one was not confirmed by a doctor. I just toughed it out and gradually healed up.

At your age, what is the perfect gift?

The pleasure of one’s company every so often works fine with me. I’m a simple man with simple tastes.

Ever ridden in a taxi?

A few times when I lived in Wilmington, plus I seem to remember being out once with a couple of friends back in the day when they were on a hunt here in Laurinburg.

Ever been to prom?

I did go to my Junior Prom and had a great time. Carolyn and I even had our picture on the front page of the school newspaper, The Bagpipe.

Have you ever stayed up for 24 hours or more?

Far more times than is healthy or wise.

Have you ever been to a concert?

I’ve been to a few, yes, although nothing recently.

Have you ever had a crush on someone at work?

I’ve had lustful thoughts about several of my coworkers over the years, but I’ve always known to keep business and personal desires separate. Thinking back, I wasted some great opportunities, especially at Nics. I worked with some sexy-ass dudes.

Did you ever learn another language?

I took two years of Spanish and a year of Latin in high school, plus picked up some Japanese at college. But I’ve forgotten most of all of that now. I know a few words and phrases, and I can sing ‘Oh Christmas Tree’ in Latin. That’s all I remember anymore.

Do you wear make-up?

Nope. I’m all natural. I’m already a sexy beast. Why mess with perfection?

Did you ever kiss someone of a different race than yourself?

Race doesn’t matter. It’s the person who’s important. And yes, my white-boy lips have kissed on probably every race in existence at some point. The lips don’t discriminate or judge.

Ever dyed your hair?

When I had my rattail in Wilmington, I had it blond, green, purple, and hot pink at various times. And I have a bottle of purple hairspray just waiting to be used in my bathroom. So, that would be a yes. I have, and I most likely will again.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you on the Golf Course.

Ubuntu!