Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #177
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 177, and I’m still standing. Don’t say I don’t love ya.

Have you ever caught the stove on fire?

Not that I can recall, no.

Ever meet someone famous?

I’ve met dozens of famous wrestlers, singer Janis Ian, and NASCAR driver Bill Elliot. I’ve also met former Charlotte Mayor Eddie Knox and former Governor Jim Hunt. I’m a person who knows people.

Ever been on an airplane?

We did a field trip back in grade school and took a tour of an airplane. But aside from that, nope.

Ever been on a boat?

Many times. I’ve been out in the ocean, deep-sea fishing a few times when I was a teenager. I was there for the beer. My friend’s dad let us drink.

Ever broken something expensive?

Some cars, a drink cooler, and a cash register all come to mind. But it wasn’t my fault.

Would you rather cook or order in?

I prefer to cook. I like cooking, and I don’t have to worry about what might be in the food.

Why are you guys always okay with doing nothing for your birthday?

I hate to be a bother to anyone.

Imagine your wife gets pregnant by someone else by accident. As a good husband, what would you do?

I’m not going to have a wife, and my potential husband can’t get pregnant. I know because I’ve been trying for nearly 45 years. But, if by some chance, I married a female and another man got her pregnant, she’d better go talk to him. It’s not my problem.

If you had to choose one disease that begins with the letter “S” to wish upon your worst enemy, which one would you select?

Syphilis.

What’s something you hope to experience before your time ends?

A wedding to a very special man and a partner for the rest of my life.

What’s something you only do when you’re alone?

Sing loudly and cut wrestling promos on my cat.

What kinds of things make you laugh the hardest?

Dark, twisted stuff that no one should laugh at. Yeah, I tend to have a sick sense of humor most of the time.

Are you into podcasts, or do you only listen to music?

I do both. I listen to certain podcasts, plus I listen to all kinds of music. I’m versatile.

A partner that cooks well or a partner that thinks well?

Thinks well. I don’t mind doing the cooking.

Describe Maxine Waters with ONE WORD.

Psychotic.

If you suddenly become rich, will you help the poor?

Of course I will. I ain’t no scrooge.

Eating ice cream in the cold of winter is perfectly acceptable. Agree or disagree?

If you want ice cream, eat the ice cream. The day of the month or the season shouldn’t matter.

Did you ever get the chance to meet your grandparent(s)?

I knew my Dad’s parents, Grandma Vick and Grandpa Raymond, very well. I also knew my Mom’s mother and even her Grandma, Granny Jo. I don’t remember my Mom’s father. I was a baby when he passed away.

Are you a night owl or a morning bird?

Late at night and early in the morning are my times to shine. I don’t do daylight if it can be avoided.

Are tattoos on a woman attractive?

It depends on the woman and the tattoos. Some women can pull it off and look amazing. Others can’t.

Is Five Guys worth the price?

It depends on the guys, but I’d like to give them a try and find out. Woof!

You are now permanently stuck inside the universe of the last TV show you watched. Where are you, and how screwed are you?

The last TV show I watched was The Drew Carey Show. Chilling out with a bunch of drunken misfits in Cleveland, Ohio? I think I’d fit right in and be perfectly fine.

Name something MAGA chicks have that liberal chicks only wish they had.

Morals, common sense, and self-respect.

Do you think Tom Jones belongs in the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame?

I wouldn’t have a problem with that. Tom Jones is a musical legend and an awesome performer. Here’s Tom Jones with EMF. It’s Unbelievable.

Should children start doing chores at an early age?

Absolutely. It helps teach responsibility. If they can walk, they can at least sweep.

Should gay men be able to adopt a baby?

Kids need parents, and the parent’s sexuality shouldn’t be an issue. I would have loved to adopt a kid when I was younger, and I can assure you that the kid would never lack for anything. So, it depends on the man and their character, ability to raise a child, values, etc. Not sexuality.

Which alcohol actually tastes terrible, but everyone acts like it’s good?

Scotch. Everyone claims to love it, but ten years at the liquor store convinced me that most are lying. It’s an ‘acquired taste’ to show off for their friends. It tastes disgusting.

Is Transgenderism a Mental Disorder?

The people don’t believe facts and think they’re something that they’re not. That doesn’t sound too mentally stable to me.

What’s the sexiest thing a woman can do?

Introduce me to her brother, father, son, husband, or boyfriend, provided that they’re legal and sexy, and then tell us to ‘Have fun!” while she goes out for a while.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at Snoopys.

Ubuntu!