Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #178
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s the Ultimate X Q&A. My, how the time has flown by. It’s number 178, and I’m still standing. Don’t say I don’t love ya.

What do you keep your temperature at in your house currently, and where do you live?

We keep it set on 70. Mom is always cold. And we live in the great state of North Carolina.

What’s the one place you’ve always dreamed of going?

Greece, to see the temples and notable spots from Greek mythology. And Baton Rouge, LA. I just like the name.

What’s an experience you’ve had that words can’t fully capture?

That one night with Chris at Pine Acres. It was so surreal and perfect in every way. Too bad that everything started to fall apart the next morning.

What’s a non-negotiable for you in any relationship?

Don’t lie to me. Anything else, we can work out, but if you lie, we’re through.

How do you hang toilet paper: over or under?

The roll sits on the back of the toilet. No hanging needed.

What’s something you could talk about for an hour without getting bored?

Music, wrestling, my cat, and dirty stuff.

If your life were a movie, what genre would it be?

Dark comedy, very twisted, but with lots of sarcasm and surreal moments.

How do you recharge when you’re feeling drained?

I go for a long ride in my truck, or I go to bed and sleep for 12 to 14 hours.

What’s a way someone has supported you that you’ll never forget?

I recently had to use a GoFundMe to take care of an extremely large bill. And two people, both of whom chose to remain anonymous, stepped up and helped me out. I will never forget that and will always be highly appreciative.

What’s something simple that brings you immense joy?

My cat, my friends, and writing.

In your own OPINION, what’s the biggest threat to humanity?

Humans. They’re getting more dangerous and more stupid each and every day.

Tell me one truth about life that people need to know. Just one.

Don’t trust anyone. It’s the ones you love the most that will hurt you the worst, often without even meaning to or trying.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you see a woman with a nose ring?

I think she has a booger hanging and needs to blow her nose. And that she’s an idiot.

If you could teach me one core value that is important to you, what would it be?

Be kind and be real.

Who is your celebrity look-alike?

Taylor Lautner, aka Jacob from the Twilight movies. We’re practically twins, right? At least that’s what I tell myself.

Is SPAM as disgusting as it looks?

Sliced up and fried, either as a sandwich or served with eggs, it’s actually quite good. I like it anyhow.

Can you eat the same meal every day?

I can, and I often do. Right now, it’s the Banquet Mega Bowls. A few weeks ago, it was chicken nuggets and tater tots. I get into spells like that sometimes.

What’s your stance on sharing finances in a relationship?

It depends on the people, the trust involved, and a million different other circumstances. Generally, though, I’d keep the money separate and in individual accounts.

If your phone could talk, what’s the most embarrassing thing it would reveal about you?

I have lots of dirty pics that others have sent to me, and I’m a bit on the pervy side in many of my discussions with the men who have sent me those pictures. Sad, but true. It keeps things interesting.

What is the fastest way to calm a man down when he’s angry?

Give him a hug or a blowjob. Either works. I warned you that I have pervy thoughts sometimes. My bad!

Name an actor who may not always be the main character but always makes the movie they’re in better.

Sal Mineo, who played Plato in the movie Rebel Without A Cause. He wasn’t the star, but I can’t imagine the movie without him.

Have you ever had a random run-in with someone important or well-known?

I used to talk to our former Mayor at the Food Lion grocery store all the time. Would that count?

What do you mostly get compliments about?

How sweet and polite that I am. If they only knew, lol.

Do you think aliens exist?

Absolutely. That’s why we have ICE, so we can deport their illegal asses and send them home.

Who’s the most badass woman in film or television?

This is a tough one. It used to be Tina Turner, but now that she’s passed, I’m not sure who has stepped up and filled her shoes. Let’s go with WWE superstar Rhea Ripley. Mami is always on top.

What’s worse than an empty bank account?

An empty home, an empty bed, and an empty heart.

She shows up with a friend unannounced “for safety” on your first date. Do you stay or leave?

That depends. Is he cute? I’d probably stay and make the best of it.

What is Your Favorite JOHNNY DEPP Movie?

There are plenty to choose from, but my favorites would be Ed Wood or Crybaby.

What sucked as a child but is awesome as an adult?

Spankings and naps.

Would you marry someone you love even though your parents do not like them?

My parent, all I have left is Mom, will never approve anyone I date, socialize with, or marry. That’s just how she is. But if I can ever get my life straight and the opportunity to be with Eric returns, I’m taking it, and I don’t care what she or anyone else thinks. Their approval is not necessary.

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the bird feeder.

Ubuntu!